Can You Tell A Story In…

It’s Thursday once again and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

SPEAK

So can you tell a story in five words using the word SPEAK in it somewhere?

Your word last week was GARAGE. Here are your GARAGE stories:

Keith Channing:

My garage is too small.

A local garage is closing.

I lied about that garage.

What is garage music? Vroom?

My car is never garaged.

Garage speak with forked tongue.

Garage rises in my estimation.

Simon’s Space:

The garage is too full.

The garage won’t fix that.

Keep the garage door shut!

Kim Smyth:

My garage needs packing up.

“Two car garage fits one.”

Garages can be catch-alls.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Garage music, what is it?!

My garage is husband’s haven.

Asbestos in garage. Very bad!

Play table tennis in garage.

Garage with no roof! Disaster!

Underground garage for cave complex.

Ruth Scribbles:

My garage door didn’t open.

He will transform the garage.

Put cars in the garage.

Garages are not storage rooms!

Trent’s World:

In the garage? Oh my!

Val Fish:

Once garages were for cars.

Chel Owens:

Living above garage proved psychedelic.

Closet skeletons? I prefer garages.

Lance Greenfield:

Her garage became her batcave.

Garage store for garage music.

Teen secrets hidden in garage.

Know better at your garr-age.

***

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A Trip Down Memory Lane

A Royal Obsession

It was in 1981 that I first took an interest in Princess Diana. I was nine years old and we were on holiday in Torquay. There was quite a furore in the guest house where we were staying: Prince Charles and Lady Diana were getting married that week, and everyone staying there was invited to watch the wedding on the TV in the guest lounge.

I remember watching as Diana walked up the steps to St. Paul’s Cathedral. Here was a real-life princess. She was utterly beautiful and amazing, and the most wonderful being on Earth. There was a bridesmaid about my age and I recall daydreaming about being her and how wonderful it must have been to be part of it.

When we arrived back home, I bought a scrapbook. It was bright red, and the first of many that would be crammed full of photos of Princess Diana. Dad took The Daily Telegraph (as it was known in those days) and read the paper from cover to cover. He let me have it when he’d finished with it the next day. I would then painstakingly (I didn’t want to risk missing anything about her) go through the newspaper looking for photos and news snippets about the princess. It didn’t matter what the report was about – it would go in the scrapbook.

I saved up my pocket money and bought postcards of her and, as a special treat, I’d sometimes buy Majesty magazine (a magazine on the royal family. It was rather expensive so I only bought it if there were lots of photos of Princess Diana as I wanted some money left over for sweets). Then came a comic/magazine devoted to children who loved Diana. I can’t remember what it was called now, but I thought it was the best thing ever. I’d walk up the hill to the newsagents after school, excitement building that the latest copy might be there. If it was, I’d race home and devour it the minute I was through the door.

Mum bought me several books on Princess Diana for birthdays and Christmas, and I loved looking at the glossy photos and reading all about her.  

I always thought Diana looked a little lonely and when Sarah Ferguson came on the scene, I hoped she and Diana would be friends. I liked ‘Fergie’ as she became known, but it was Princess Diana who held a special place in my heart – and scrapbook, so photos and reports of Sarah weren’t added to the ever growing pile of scrapbooks.

Though it didn’t stop me wanting to see Sarah’s wedding. It was a school day so I knew I’d miss it. Then Mum announced she had the day off as our new three-piece suite was coming. I can’t recall what I said to Mum, but she agreed to let me have the day off school. I don’t think I believed her at first; she’d never let me do anything like that before, and I’d only missed the odd day of school through illness. But I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

The big day finally arrived. We’d gotten rid of the old sofa ready for the new one. Mum and I hoped it would arrive in time for us to sit in comfort for the royal wedding rather than perching on the floor! The delivery men didn’t disappoint and so there were Mum and I, enjoying the softness of the sofa, eating warm buttered scones just out the oven, watching the wedding.

I’m not sure when I stopped filling scrapbooks or when my eager interest in the princess waned. I still thought she was an amazing role model, but I didn’t feel the need to devour everything I could find about her. I think it’s just a matter of growing up and other interests taking over.

I was upset by her death, as many of us were, and watched the funeral with tears streaming down my face. She may no longer be with us, and I no longer cut out photos of her from newspapers and magazines, but when I think about her now, I remember her kindness and the warmth and love that radiated from her.

I didn’t keep my Diana memorabilia. I sometimes wish I had; I’d love to look through the scrapbooks now, forty years on. But I have happy memories of that time – and Pritt Stick did very well out of me!

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Funny Of The Week

I think I’ll pass on stopping there…

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Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

FELL

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word BLIND in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Edgar Channing:

Before this new verselet I write,

Looking fearful that I may take flight.

I must needs go in blind

Never sure that I’ll find

Dame Muse with her sweet guiding light.

Trent’s World:

There was a man named Matt

Who seemed as blind as a bat

His eyes were good

It’s understood

It was how he wore his hat.

There was a girl named Dee

Who totally blind-sided me

In she flew

Out of the blue

And hit before I could see.

Kim Smyth:

There once was a girl oh so blind

She sought love, yet couldn’t find

In clubs nor in pubs

But she kept concert stubs

The memories at least were so kind.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

I’m in a really big bind

I want to search and find

The silver and gold

At rainbows end, told

But I can’t cos I’m blind!

TanGental:

‘Buying fruit,’ young Thomas opined,

‘Is a risky business if you’re partially blind;

The staff all think I’m utterly hopeless

And one old woman told me to grope less,

Cos I can’t tell ripe melons from a pert behind.’

Richmond Road:

In Hollywood, greed is good, love is blind

On streets of gold, so I’m told, all are kind

As time goes by,

you will see it’s a lie

Or you’ll be fooled… if you’re that way inclined.

***

Photo credit: The Humor Page

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Can You Tell A Story In…

It’s Thursday once again and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

GARAGE

So can you tell a story in five words using the word GARAGE in it somewhere?

Your word last week was BEDROOM. Here are your BEDROOM stories:

Keith Channing:

Hostels are nowt but bedrooms.

Bedroom. Possible route to boardroom?

Bedroom in Latin is cubiculum.

Nothing’s clever about bedroom humour.

Bedroom jokes are funny, though.

Ritu:

My bedroom is my haven.

Bedroom shenanigans? Far too old!

Teenage bedrooms are health hazards!

Kim Smyth:

Packing up my bedroom last!

Guest bedroom needs most packing!

Looking forward to mobile bedroom.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Bedroom, with no bed? Study.

Teenagers bedroom was very smelly!

My bedroom is too small.

Paint a bedroom Mr VanGogh!

Changing rooms? Hideous TV bedroom!

Four poster bed, Kings bedroom.

Ruth Scribbles:

His bedroom is a mess.

Some bedrooms are disguised traps.

Richmond Road:

Love. Bigger than a bedroom.

Val Fish:

Keep out of my bedroom!!!

Bedrooms are for sleeping together.

Big let-down in bedroom department…

Lance Greenfield:

Bedouin bedroom is bivouacked boudoir.

Go straight to your bedroom!

Church holds key to bedroom.

Bedroom’s for sleeping or love-making?

My sanctuary is my bedroom.

Gideon bible lives in bedroom.

Small bedroom: no bed room!

Bedroom secrets must stay secret.

***

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Funny Of The Week

I think a few more public loos could benefit from this sign…

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Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

BLIND

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word SWEAR in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Edgar Channing:

Sometimes I am just not aware
When I reach for the good book and swear
Every word is a fact,
And the few I retract
Relate to our clandestine affair.

Kim Smyth:

I swear although the rain has just started
Summer and I don’t want to be parted
So early in the year
For fall to be near
Can it be that the season has started?

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

I swear fealty to the new king
Said the Knight as he started to swing
His magical sword
But it caught on a board
Now his arm’s in a mythical sling!

TanGental:

To me, it’s neither here, nor there
Whether people feel the need to swear.
They can call me poltroon
Or odious buffoon
And I’ll barely turn the odd hair.

When young, with nary a care
I had little need to swear.
But as I developed some pluck
I let go the odd darn
As rhyming was truly overrated.

Ruth Scribbles:

I swear, I swear, I swear, I swear
How dare you even try to go there
You gave me your word
But you are a turd
Why did you tell that I fell off the chair?

***

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Can You Tell A Story In…

It’s Thursday once again and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

BEDROOM

So can you tell a story in five words using the word BEDROOM in it somewhere?

Your word last week was FINISH. Here are your FINISHED stories:

Keith Channing:

I love a smooth finish.

Finnish has two n’s, okay?

I’ve started, so I’ll finish.

That’ll do – I’ve finished now.

Kim Smyth:

Need to finish my lighthouse.

Who finishes furniture around here?

Let’s put on finishing touches!

Ritu:

No more to say. Finished.

I finished my first draft!

You going to finish that?

Terveen Gill:

The dead finish before, literally.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Argument, only heard the finish…

You can finish the prosecco.

Lewis failed to finish cleaning.

Finish on the car? Poor.

Ice cream sundae to finish.

Of course, Esther! Great finish.

Ruth Scribbles:

Will you finish it, please!

The table finish was ruined.

The Finnish live up North.

EDC Writing:

Finish? Last word, no way!

Val Fish:

Why can’t I finish this…

Lance Greenfield:

Five words finish this story.

Finishing therapy almost finished me.

Finish with a happy ending?

Finish with a suspenseful cliff-hanger?

Finishing last is no disgrace.

Finishing first brings warm satisfaction.

To finish, we must begin.

Unfinished therapy is killing me.

Ecstasy crossing marathon finish line.

Swanwick: finished for another year.

Bony Tony will never finish.

Not granting may finish me!

And some super stories on the previous theme of PUZZLE from Tessa:

A year to move, puzzling!

Would rather do a puzzle.

Puzzles strengthen your brain muscles.

***

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Funny Of The Week

So we’re supposed to guess which day then?

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Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

SWEAR

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word JOKE in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Kim Smyth:

A man from Polk told a joke
About an old pig in a poke
A girl was offended
Thus his routine then was ended
His career as a comedian up in smoke!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

When the leader got up and spoke
Some listeners thought it was a joke
But it’s not true
He was in a stew
Then they realised and had to mope.

TanGental:

As an elderly, colourless bloke
I’ve become a bit of a joke;
But since I’ve found my lost youth,
Wrapped up in its own truth
I’m mindful and just a tad woke.

Ruth Scribbles:

There once was an egg with two yolks
“Am I dreaming? Please give me a poke.”
The bump on my head
Made me dizzy instead
The yolk was on me, no joke!

Lance Greenfield:

Bony Tony often spoke
Of goblins, fairies and funny folk.
But then I found
That the world is round,
And, to him, it was all a big joke!

Val Fish:

‘Twas a nightmare, a terrible fright
Count Dracula was taking a bite
But then I awoke
It was hubby’s sick joke
He slept downstairs the rest of the night.

***

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