Happy Monday! I hope you all had a good weekend.
Your new limerick challenge is as follows:
CROSS
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word TYPE in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:
Rosamund Grundy was an odd sort
She didn’t believe her school report
She decided she was smart
But despite a good start
Her type writing skills were bad I thought.
I was young when I learned how to type
Now I even know about Skype
The stories we tell
On paper or bell
Are really worth all of the hype.
Mary had an awful fate
For her there was no proper mate
Even when hot
Her type he’s not
And compatibility is never great.
–
Bartelby thinks typing is quaint
The sight of a keyboard makes him faint
What seems crazy
Is because he’s lazy
At work he’s no saint.
(Bartelby the Scrivener stopped his proofreading and copying with the phrase “I would prefer not to.”)
I soon realised he wasn’t my type
His Tinder profile was just full of hype
His unwelcome advance
Gave me the chance
To tell him what to stick up his pipe.
When a hundred monkeys began to type
They were well aware of the ensuing hype
That followed them writing from start to finish
A version of Hamlet in pidgin English
Which they performed in spats over a dodgy Skype.
–
Norman Toole was of a certain type
Whose patter was dull and mostly tripe.
He went online to find a mate,
Never landed even one first date
As discerning women would never swipe
(Either left or right).
Bony Tony loved eating tripe,
Served with onions was what he liked.
But he understood
That, when it came to food,
Not everyone was a tripe-lover type.
***
There was a fine lady upon a white horse.
Who rode like the wind to Banbury Cross
She’d heard a Knight was going that way
So excited was she to see him that day
But he never arrived and her heart felt the loss!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Poor fine lady 😂 Thanks, Christine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
She rode home in tears x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I bought a cross to hang on the wall
My husband secured it so it would not fall
The cross contains ashes
Memorializing Dad’s passing
Now it stays permanently in my hall.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s very poignant, Kim.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some awful awful Eurovision singers
Had started with crossed fingers
Still, they confess
The show was a mess
And their screeches still lingers
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha ha! That’s a really good one, Trent 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can you believe it? My boss
Repeatedly comes to work cross.
One day, after lunch,
She said, “I’ve a hunch
Some joker has stolen my floss!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your acrostic limerick made me laugh. Thanks, Keith.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been described as quasi posh
Which has been known to make me cross.
It’s time to put this thing to bed
And reinstate my lost street cred.
‘I’ve lost the title and sold the hoss.’
When I was accused of penning dross
I have to admit, it made me cross.
I might have eased my consternation
Had I asked for an explanation.
But, being frank, I couldn’t give a toss.
LikeLiked by 2 people
A highly amusing pair. Thanks, Geoff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t help but get cross with my Fred
His latest habit has made me see red.
I shouldn’t moan
Each to their own
But must he really do it in bed?
LikeLiked by 2 people
That is just fabulous! Love it, Val ❤
LikeLike
Thanks Esther, I’ve no idea what he was doing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
😂😂😂
LikeLike
Best to keep it to yourself, if you find out what he was doing! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Suella’s a girl who thinks that she’s tough.
But, really, she’s very like Billy Goat Gruff.
“Thou shalt not cross!
Even if ALL you have lost.”
Soon, the voters will tell her, “Enough is enough!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Super stuff, Lance 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person