Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

NECK

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word CHURCH in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Edgar Channing:

As the time nears for jumpers and sweaters,
We should think of our elders and betters.
A bench near the church
Is a fine place to perch
(And at least it has more than five letters!)

–

The church is where you meet your God
With delight, not a smile and a nod,
Yet so many look sad
As if life is so bad.
Doesn’t that seem to you rather odd?

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

They went to marry in the church
After meeting on a Internet search
But things went odd ’cause
The groom drank vodkas!
Causing him, down the aisle, to lurch!

Trent’s World:

Sid said crime does pay
Robbed and killed hundreds, they say
But tell him he’s bad
And he’ll get real mad
For he goes to church every Sunday!

Dave’s Poetry & Mystery:

There was a vicar named Mell
Everyone knew him so well
He was icy and stern
Commanded listen and learn
Or I’ll send you all to hell.

Ruth Scribbles:

There once was a man in church
Who bumped on the pew with a lurch
He almost fell down
He sat and frowned
“He’s drunk, no he’s blind,” and they smirched.

Val Fish:

As the church bells rang out for my John
I played the grieving widow with aplomb
But deep down in my heart
I was itching to start
A new life now the sad bastard’s gone !

TanGental:

When an ascetic churchwarden, called Bunt
Found out what they’d done to his punt
Which was covered in baubles
He said, ‘Bless my corbels;
Whoever did this must be some sort of an artist.’

***

Images credit: Rebel Quotes