Laughing Along With A Limerick

I hope you all had a great weekend. Here’s a new limerick challenge for you. Your word is:

CRUSH

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word KISS in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Channing:

Kiss me, she said with a pout
Her lips almost turned inside-out.
I slipped and I fell,
Let out a great yell;
Life’s just not the same with the gout!

Trent’s World:

There was a girl named Missy-Sue
Who had a heart never quite true
She kissed each boy
To bring them them joy
Until she left them for someone new.

–

A kiss was thought the greatest seal
To the leader and his deal
For if you’d break it
They wouldn’t fake it
And his wrath you’d surely feel.

Christine Mallaband-brown:

Grandmother gave baby a kiss
Who suddenly started to hiss!
She needs a clean diaper
Said granny, I’ll wipe her
She’ll soon be as clean as her sis!

Chel Owens:

A young gal, by the name of Old Miss,
Thought, ‘Why did my mum name me this?’
The opposite sex
Won’t send me a text;
I’ll be dead whilst I wait for a kiss.

Lance Greenfield:

Bony Tony often played snooker
Even with a painful verruca.
He could kiss off the pink
Sink black with a dink,
Besides being a jolly good looker.

–

“I love your caresses; that’s clear.
But, where will you kiss me, my dear?”
She held on to me tight
As she squealed with delight,
When I told her, and showed her, “Right here!”

TanGental:

At the school for trainee actresses
Sarah is taught to dispense kisses
She thinks, ‘it’s a cinch,’
But in her first clinch,
She aims at his lips and then misses.

‘You don’t need the wisdom of Homer,’
said Mark, a wise lad from Cromer,
‘To know that a kiss will
make her feel blissful,
as well as bring her out of a coma.’

Kim Smyth:

There seemed to be something amiss
For I’d yet to receive my nightly kiss
His mood hard been dark
Ever since we left the park
What’s happened to the happy days of bliss?

The Hidden Edge:

Chaz is a guy who’s really rock hard;
He is big, beefy; and a tad scarred,
A kiss on the lips
Is better than chips –
And … costs less than a Valentine’s card.

Linking People 2003:

Had a kiss with death, no steal,
Audaciously kissing while on wheel!
Oxytocin, love hormone, releases while kissing,
From master gland, the pituitary, not missing,
Arousing with neurohumoral toning, intact seal!