Laughing Along With A Limerick

I hope you all had a great weekend. Here’s a new limerick challenge for you. Your word is:

CRUSH

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word KISS in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Channing:

Kiss me, she said with a pout
Her lips almost turned inside-out.
I slipped and I fell,
Let out a great yell;
Life’s just not the same with the gout!

Trent’s World:

There was a girl named Missy-Sue
Who had a heart never quite true
She kissed each boy
To bring them them joy
Until she left them for someone new.



A kiss was thought the greatest seal
To the leader and his deal
For if you’d break it
They wouldn’t fake it
And his wrath you’d surely feel.

Christine Mallaband-brown:

Grandmother gave baby a kiss
Who suddenly started to hiss!
She needs a clean diaper
Said granny, I’ll wipe her
She’ll soon be as clean as her sis!

Chel Owens:

A young gal, by the name of Old Miss,
Thought, ‘Why did my mum name me this?’
The opposite sex
Won’t send me a text;
I’ll be dead whilst I wait for a kiss.

Lance Greenfield:

Bony Tony often played snooker
Even with a painful verruca.
He could kiss off the pink
Sink black with a dink,
Besides being a jolly good looker.

“I love your caresses; that’s clear.
But, where will you kiss me, my dear?”
She held on to me tight
As she squealed with delight,
When I told her, and showed her, “Right here!”

TanGental:

At the school for trainee actresses
Sarah is taught to dispense kisses
She thinks, ‘it’s a cinch,’
But in her first clinch,
She aims at his lips and then misses.

‘You don’t need the wisdom of Homer,’
said Mark, a wise lad from Cromer,
‘To know that a kiss will
make her feel blissful,
as well as bring her out of a coma.’

Kim Smyth:

There seemed to be something amiss
For I’d yet to receive my nightly kiss
His mood hard been dark
Ever since we left the park
What’s happened to the happy days of bliss?

The Hidden Edge:

Chaz is a guy who’s really rock hard;
He is big, beefy; and a tad scarred,
A kiss on the lips
Is better than chips –
And … costs less than a Valentine’s card.

Linking People 2003:

Had a kiss with death, no steal,
Audaciously kissing while on wheel!
Oxytocin, love hormone, releases while kissing,
From master gland, the pituitary, not missing,
Arousing with neurohumoral toning, intact seal!

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48 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. I once had a terrible crush
    On a girl with the prettiest blush
    I approached with a pout
    She said, “Oi! Leave it out!
    There is no need to bloodywell rush!”

    Did I mention that she’s from Australia,
    And she looked just like Iggy Azalea?
    But she had a mishap
    When she tried to do rap
    So stuck to weekend bacchanalia?

    She tried on another persona
    Like that Capulet girl from Verona.
    She took a few chances
    With intimate dances
    But succumbed to a virus corona.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Some nice entries, Esther.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. On my art teacher, I had a slight Crush
    He asked to see what I’d drawn in a rush.
    So, I showed him my sketches
    But men are such wretches!
    What he said just made me quite blush!

    Great minds think alike, I can see the similarities with Keith’s 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Pingback: Laugh Along with a Limerick – An Artful Sketch – Tales from the mind of Kristian

  5. Ritu says:

    Young Jane had a habit of blushing
    When faced with one on whom she was crushing
    Her cheeks would go red
    She’d wish herself dead
    So out of the door she’d go, rushing!

    So sorry, that is awful!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Crush the ice, add the Gin
    Then pour the tonic in
    Give it a stir up
    Soon you can sup
    The delicious taste of sin!

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Kim Smyth says:

    There once was a girl with a crush
    On a guy that could make her blush
    He kissed her one day
    And she started to sway
    So he caught her ‘neath the arms in a rush!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. “Tease me. Hold me. Crush me. Squeeze me.”
    Bony Tony would often tease me.
    He’d hold me close
    As I perched on his toes,
    And he would never fail to please me.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. trentpmcd says:

    OK, this is part two of the first one from last week 😉

    Roy had a crush on Missy Sue
    Though she treated him just like poo
    She’d kiss each boy
    Except for Roy
    Leaving the lad oh so blue
    *
    I can see that we’re both in sync
    With old, crushed grape our favorite drink
    And sure, it’s fine
    That you call it wine
    I just want to make you think…

    Liked by 3 people

  10. One day I ran into my Crush
    I gasped and started to flush
    He was dirty and drunk
    And smelled like a skunk
    I was happy to be in a rush

    Liked by 2 people

  11. TanGental says:

    It all began in an unholy rush
    That ended in a deadly crush,
    As one by one, their gasps
    Stopped as they breathed their last.
    Their cries gave way to a dreadful hush.

    Bit serious. Saw film of another football stadium disaster from the Africa Cup of Nations yesterday which brought back Hillsborough et al and then your prompt…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. SexagenarianScribbler says:

    Oh why is it when facing my crush
    Like a right berk I can’t help but blush
    Butterflies in my belly
    My knees turn to jelly
    And my brain to a big pile of mush .

    Liked by 1 person

  13. SexagenarianScribbler says:

    Thanks Esther

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Linkingpeople2003 says:

    LIGAMENTS between vertebrae crush,
    When Anaestheist insert needle deep, blush!
    Instead of just under skin for local anaesthetic,
    Which often leads to backache, apologetic;
    After Spinal Block for say, Caesarean rush!

    कशेरुक के बीच स्नायुबंधन पर दबाव,
    जब एनेस्थीस्ट गहरी सुई बिना भाव,
    दर्द के लिए सिर्फ त्वचा के नीचे के बजाय,
    अक्सर पीठ दर्द मरीज़ों को हो जाय;
    स्पाइनल ब्लॉक सिजेरियन बाद प्रभाव।

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Chel Owens says:

    There once was a man named O’Malley
    Who wished to be married to Sally.
    He took things too far
    By crushing her car
    Whenst following her down an alley…

    Liked by 2 people

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