Laughing Along With A Limerick

In my recent blog post, I mentioned that I’d be back with my challenges soon. In the meantime, Lance Greenfield is holding my Monday and Thursday challenges if you’d like to take part. You’ll find him at https://lancegreenfield.wordpress.com/

I also promised I’d publish all your wonderful limericks from several months ago. Well, here they are.

The prompts were:

PAIN

HEAL

NURSE

Keith Channing:

The dogs needed walking again

So I had to go out in the rain.

It would be okay

On a sunnier day

But this is a regular pain!


My shoemaker told me that he’ll

Give comfort from toe right to heel.

But each homophone

Grates right to the bone;

Those old blisters may never heal.


Nurses and doctors won’t stay

Unless they receive decent pay.

Rewards may accrue,

Some thank-you is due –

Even a fine cabernet.


No self-respecting young nurse

Uses a camel-skin purse.

Regarding the rest,

Sow’s ear is best

Even if slightly perverse.

Ritu:

“Ooh, Matron,” the patient said again

“Say that once more, and I’ll inflict pain!”

“But, Nurse, you’re meant to heal”

“Not when you cop a feel.

Patients like you, quite the bane!”

Cathy Wattam:

With your shoulder, you must be in pain

Needing invasive surgery again,

I do hope you heal fast

So your pain doesn’t last

And you don’t get a nurse who’s insane!

Kim Smyth:

There once was a lady in pain

Which was made worse by the rain

The doctor did say

She needed rest for a day

So the surgery wasn’t in vain!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

I really feel your pain

I know it must be a strain

To live with a shoulder

That makes you feel older

So your health is restored again.


After surgery it takes time to heal

It can be a very big deal

Muscles are knitting

And a sling it needs fitting

For a few weeks at least – not ideal!


You need a very good nurse

So you recover, not get worse.

So rest up your shoulder

And then you’ll get bolder

And resume your writing of verse.


I hope the nurse treats you well

And any pain they can quell

You recover full strength

At no long length

your hospital stay a short spell!

Trent’s World:

Esther has a date with doctor and nurse

Hopefully to heal the shoulder pain curse

I have naught to say

Being an ocean away

I have to send my well wishes in verse.


A limerick with depth is a pain

Trying to cram it all in is insane

But I’ll try my best

While you heal and rest

And maybe your smile I’ll gain.

Paul Mastaglio:

Thought you’d done away with pain

But I guess it’s back again

Try opening another folder

Might have a new shoulder

Then you’ll be right as rain!


The shoulder will heal

I’m certain, I feel

You’re on the right track

In no time, you’ll be back

If not, you can always appeal!


You couldn’t do any worse

Than employ a nurse

Someone to care

Who could be right there

And that’s the end of my verse!

The Hidden Edge:

Help! I’m in need of a nurse,

This pain is getting much worse,

If it doesn’t heal,

I might just repeal,

Instead, call straight for the hearse!

Linking People2013:

No pain, no gain, they say,

Be disciplined and obey,

God will heal,

Just go through the ordeal,

Nurse will also pray!

Lance Greenfield:

For Esther

Her surgeon’s name was Socrates,

Who studied under Hypocrates.

Her nurse was Jane,

Who soothed her pain.

With friends like these, she’ll heal with ease . ..

. . . and, if my dream comes true, we’ll all be pleased!


Her surgeon’s name was Harry.

In theatre he did not tarry.

In full command,

His healing hands,

Soon had Esther as happy as Larry.


For my Dad

Happy Birthday Bony Tony,

Always straight and never phoney.

Two years departed,

Still never outsmarted.

Let’s party with pizza calzone.

Ruth Scribbles:

I once had a PAIN in my heel

The NURSE said there’s nothing to feel

I limped and I groaned

I groused and I moaned

The pain in my heel better HEAL???

Sarian Lady:

To look at my face is a pain.

The mirror should go down the drain.

A wrinkle, a blemish,

And I’m off to the chemist.

I wish I wasn’t so vain.


Can anyone, I appeal?

My broken heart to heal.

On dating apps,

I’ll find perhaps

Someone to make my head reel.


How I love a kind nurse.

I’ll explain it all in this verse.

Bed baths and pills,

To cure all my ills.

Rather than go off in a hearse.

Val Fish:

Pushing and panting for all I was worth

The pain was like nothing on earth

But I’d do it over again

Despite all that pain

That’s the miracle of childbirth.


I’ve a pain that won’t go away

It’s with me every hour of the day

But I made my bed

When I stupidly said

I would love honour and obey.

***

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21 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. Simon says:

    Hi Esther, it’s good to see you back 🙂

  2. Kim Smyth says:

    I’m so glad you’ll be back soon, we have missed you, although Lance has been doing a fine job!

    I could show you the other cheek
    Cause we’ve been ordered to write once a week
    Look in the mirror, what do you see
    He’s done the deed, now the ink’s on me!

    Show, Cheek, Order, Mirror, Deed 😉

  3. Love them! Thank you for sharing. X hope you’re recovering well.

  4. Can I offer a couple to cheer you up (or not)?

    Both actually quite topical, though not necessarily (in one case) in the best taste:

    BORING

    My kids find it thoroughly boring
    When I say we should go out exploring.
    They had their revenge,
    On a trip to Stonehenge
    When we found it was closed for restoring.

    NOT FUNNY!

    When I start composing a song,
    Some things I think are simply wrong.
    Like: I don’t think Ovid
    Would ever catch COVID
    Because he’s been dead for so long.

  5. It’s wonderful to see a post from you Esther. I hope you are much better now.

  6. trentpmcd says:

    Hi Esther – great to see you back! I hope this means that you are doing better. Looking forward to seeing more of your posts 🙂

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