Laughing Along With A Limerick

It’s Monday and limerick time. I’m giving you three prompts this week. Unfortunately, I’ve got to have some more shoulder surgery, so I’ll be out of action for a while. But I’d love to see your limericks so please send them in to give me a smile. I’ll publish them all when I’m back blogging again.

PAIN

HEAL

NURSE

Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was TRAIN.

Keith Channing:

Train for the race, I was told;

Running, you’ll never grow old.

And so I agreed;

I did my best speed.

Now I’m just knackered and cold!

Ritu:

Now, that really is a pain

Can’t believe I did it again

Just a tad too much booze

So I had a snooze

And I’ve gone and missed my train!

Cathy Wattam:

As an actor, I do like to train

Caped crusaders are often my game

I auditioned as Robin

But ended up sobbin’

Because I was cast as Bruce Wayne.

There once was a man in the rain

Who had waited so long for a train

That his clothes were all soaked

And a passenger joked

That he looked like he lived down a drain.

It is a real bugbear of mine

That I can’t find a train that’s on time

So I stand here and wait

Know full well I’ll be late

It’s always those leaves on the line.

There’s one thing I’d like to explain,

I get kind of frisky on trains

I’m a great womanizer

Yes, I am the train driver

But I’ve yet to find someone complain!

When you are riding a train

It’s best not to take your Cocaine

The train might be busy

And you’re feeling dizzy

The question is – are you insane?

Kim Smyth:

More people should ride the train

It would keep them out of the rain

The roads less clogged

Their minds less fogged

Once working they’d use more of their brain!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

An 0-6-0 train in steam

Makes my hubby smile and beam

The Flying Scotsman?

He is a real Fan!

Driving it, that is his dream!

Trent’s World:

Beth married the conductor of a train

So her wedding dress had a forty-foot train

It wasn’t much fun

The thing weighed a ton

To wear it she had to exercise and train.

Bob trained real hard in vault

But the virus put the games to a halt

Go home and pout

For Tokyo is out

Not getting the gold isn’t your fault.

Paul Mastaglio:

Let the train

Take the strain

No more car

For those trips afar

Enjoy your day and return home again.

The Hidden Edge:

The amazing red head, Mary Jane,

Knew not that Spiderman stopped the train,

Her trust was slighted;

Their love was blighted,

Swallowing pride is not what she’d deign!

Lance Greenfield:

My owner thinks I’m just really dumb.

But truly, I’m having great fun.

On “Stay!” I run,

And I leave on “Come!”

Training treats are filling my tum!

We boarded a train going to Delhi.

The driver was giving it welly.

We’d not been going long

Before we were singing this song:

We’re going too fast! Our legs are shaking like jelly!

We all went out for a dinner in Staines.

I chose chicken Madras for my main.

The weather was foggy.

And my rice was all soggy,

So I sent the dish back to re-strain.

Linking People2013:

Education is to train the mind to think,

Station master minds the train without a blink!

School master trains the mind,

Former minds, the latter trains and is kind!

Freight train or camel train, train the camera to click!

Ruth Scribbles:

I wish I were riding a train

Instead I got caught in the rain

I ran really fast

Went down in a splat

The concussion they say hurt my brain.

Sarian Lady:

I once had to rack my brain,

Whilst travelling home on the train.

I thought and I thought,

‘Till my nerves became fraught.

No ideas, it was all in vain.

Val Fish:

I got caught with a fine on the train

Whilst drunk, pulled the emergency chain

There’s no excuse

For improper use

Note to self; next time engage brain!

***

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58 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. Linkingpeople2003 says:

    No pain, no gain, they say,

    Be disciplined and obey,

    God will heal,

    Just go through the ordeal,

    Nurse will also pray!

  2. Cathy Wattam says:

    With your shoulder, you must be in pain
    Needing invasive surgery again,
    I do hope you heal fast
    So your pain doesn’t last
    And you don’t get a nurse who’s insane!

  3. I’m sorry to hear you’ve to have more surgery. You have my best wishes for a speedy recovery.

    Meanwhile:

    The dogs needed walking again
    So I had to go out in the rain.
    It would be okay
    On a sunnier day
    But this is a regular pain!

    My shoemaker told me that he’ll
    Give comfort from toe right to heel.
    But each homophone
    Grates right to the bone;
    Those old blisters may never heal.

    Nurses and doctors won’t stay
    Unless they receive decent pay.
    Rewards may accrue,
    Some thank-you is due –
    Even a fine cabernet

  4. Help! I’m in need of a nurse,
    This pain is getting much worse,
    If it doesn’t heal,
    I might just repeal,
    Instead, call straight for the hearse!

    (just kidding – hope you are back with us soonest – Laurax)

  5. I have shoulder problems and sympathise. Hope the surgery goes well and sorts it out.. X

    I really feel your pain
    I know it must be a strain
    To live with a shoulder
    That makes you feel older
    So your health is restored again.

  6. After surgery it takes time to heal
    It can be a very big deal
    Muscles are knitting
    And a sling it needs fitting
    For a few weeks at least – not ideal!

  7. You need a very good nurse
    So you recover, not get worse.
    So rest up your shoulder
    And then you’ll get bolder
    And resume your writing of verse.

    X

  8. Pingback: Oh No! – (Monday Limerick #56) – Laura McHarrie @ The Hidden Edge

  9. trentpmcd says:

    Esther has a date with doctor and nurse
    Hopefully to heal the shoulder pain curse
    I have naught to say
    Being an ocean away
    I have to send my well wishes in verse
    **
    A limerick with depth is a pain
    Trying to cram it all in is insane
    But I’ll try my best
    While you heal and rest
    And maybe your smile I’ll gain
    **
    I hope the surgery goes well! Take care of yourself 🙂

  10. Kim Smyth says:

    There once was a lady in pain
    Which was made worse by the rain
    The doctor did say
    She needed rest for a day
    So the surgery wasn’t in vain!

  11. Paul Mastaglio says:

    Thought you’d done away with pain
    But I guess it’s back again
    Try opening another folder
    Might have a new shoulder
    Then you’ll be right as rain!

    The shoulder will heal
    I’m certain, I feel
    You’re on the right track
    In no time, you’ll be back
    If not, you can always appeal!

    You couldn’t do any worse
    Than employ a nurse
    Someone to care
    Who could be right there
    And that’s the end of my verse!

    Cheers Paul – Hope this is the last lap for you, Esther and that you’ll be fighting fit again. 😁

  12. Pingback: Monday Limericks | lyncrain

  13. lyncrain says:

    Hi Esther, sending you healing energy.

    Monday Limericks

  14. For Esther

    Her surgeon’s name was Socrates,
    Who studied under Hypocrates.
    Her nurse was Jane,
    Who soothed her pain.
    With friends like these, she’ll heal with ease . ..

    . . . and, if my dream comes true, we’ll all be pleased!

    For my Dad

    Happy Birthday Bony Tony,
    Always straight and never phoney.
    Two years departed,
    Still never outsmarted.
    Let’s party with pizza calzone.

  15. PAIN HEAL NURSE

    I once had a PAIN in my heel
    The NURSE said there’s nothing to feel
    I limped and I groaned
    I groused and I moaned
    The pain in my heel better HEAL???

  16. Ritu says:

    “Ooh, Matron,” the patient said again
    “Say that once more, and I’ll inflict pain!”
    “But, Nurse, you’re meant to heal”
    “Not when you cop a feel.
    Patients like you, quite the bane!”

    Good luck with your surgery, Esther 🥰

  17. Pingback: Acrostic Limericks 44 – Keith Kreates!

  18. No self-respecting young nurse
    Uses a camel-skin purse.
    Regarding the rest,
    Sow’s ear is best
    Even if slightly perverse

  19. Simon says:

    I hope your shoulder op goes well Esther 🙂

  20. Pingback: Random Limericks 37 – Keith Kreates!

  21. Pingback: Acrostic Limericks 45 – Keith Kreates!

  22. Hope you are getting better Esther . Here are my limericks
    To look at my face is a pain.
    The mirror should go down the drain.
    A wrinkle, a blemish,
    And I’m off to the chemist.
    I wish I wasn’t so vain.

    Can anyone, I appeal?
    My broken heart to heal.
    On dating apps,
    I’ll find perhaps
    Someone to make my head reel.

    How I love a kind nurse.
    I’ll explain it all in this verse.
    Bed baths and pills,
    To cure all my ills.
    Rather than go off in a hearse.

  23. I hope the nurse treats you well
    And any pain they can quell
    You recover full strength
    At no long length
    your hospital stay a short spell!

  24. valfish56 says:

    Pushing and panting for all I was worth
    The pain was like nothing on earth
    But I’d do it over again
    Despite all that pain
    That’s the miracle of childbirth.

  25. valfish56 says:

    I’ve a pain that won’t go away
    It’s with me every hour of the day
    But I made my bed
    When I stupidly said
    I would love honour and obey

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