Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –

TRAIN

Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was SPORT.

Keith Channing:

Sport can be fun, but I’m lazy.

Perhaps I’m a little bit hazy,

Only I see no joy

Running like a schoolboy.

Too much and I’m sure I’d go crazy!

Ritu:

I’d rather read, and sit on my bum

But that’s not so good for my tum

Find a child who likes sport

And soon you’ll get caught

Like me, now a true cricket mum!

Cathy Wattam:

My funny old pal was a sport

Liked to chase me with things he had bought

Feather dusters were fine

But I did draw the line

At the snake he was due to import.

I can’t find a sport I can do

Up to now I have tried twenty-two

But they all make me hot

I can’t master the squat

And am fearful I might follow through.

The day I had just become forty

I decided I should be more sporty

But on the basketball court

I heard someone retort

‘She can’t reach, because she’s such a shorty!’

In sport you must play by the rules

We were told at our Primary Schools

But when I got a bad itch

On the new football pitch

I had to start playing in mules.

Kim Smyth:

My youngest son was so good at sports

He could play all different sorts

My other two not so much

They liked gaming and such

And none of the three liked short shorts!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

A choice between physics and sport?

Which did I prefer to be taught?

Neither, was I good at

My efforts always fell flat!

But Art was always A on my report!

Trent’s World:

Robbie was selling me short

So I decided to take him to court

He returned my loot

So I dropped the suit

I can be a pretty good sport.

Bob’s vest sports a flower

Crocheted with much power

All gaudy and bright

It even glows at night

You’d think his bank job would sour.

Paul Mastaglio:

After a lot of thought

We can now do sport

Golf, Tennis or a bit of cricket

There’s the ticket

That’s the end of my report.

The Hidden Edge:

The tennis champ, Lindsay Davenport,

Whether she was on or off the court,

Would take it on the chin,

If she didn’t quite win,

And was always a jolly good sport!

Lance Greenfield:

He was every girl’s hottest desire.

Set my heart and my belly on fire.

A runner was he,

With legs like great trees.

But the spoilsport would not be my squire.

Linking People2013:

Soccer needs much physical exertions,

Unlike chess, players shout to cast aspersions!

Referee’s appeal to be a sport,

But, cricket players take dort!

Match fixing, hidden corruptions!

Sarian Lady:

I was never any good at sport,

In running I always got caught.

Still, I practised and practised,

‘Till I had legs of elastic.

And now I never fall short.

Val Fish:

I was always useless at sport

I’m just not the athletic sort

I’d come last every race

I couldn’t keep pace

And at long jump I always fell short.

***

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38 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. Train for the race, I was told;
    Running, you’ll never grow old.
    And so I agreed;
    I did my best speed.
    Now I’m just knackered and cold!

  2. Kim Smyth says:

    More people should ride the train
    It would keep them out of the rain
    The roads less clogged
    Their minds less fogged
    Once working they’d use more of their brain!

  3. trentpmcd says:

    Beth married the conductor of a train
    So her wedding dress had a forty-foot train
    It wasn’t much fun
    The thing weighed a ton
    To wear it she had to exercise and train

    lol, they -are- different words I rhymed, aren’t they?

    Bob trained real hard in vault
    But the virus put the games to a halt
    Go home and pout
    For Tokyo is out
    Not getting the gold isn’t your fault

  4. Cathy Wattam says:

    Apologies in advance for the slightly risqué ones!

    As an actor, I do like to train
    Caped crusaders are often my game
    I auditioned as Robin
    But ended up sobbin’
    Because I was cast as Bruce Wayne

    *******

    There once was a man in the rain
    Who had waited so long for a train
    That his clothes were all soaked
    And a passenger joked
    That he looked like he lived down a drain

    *******

    It is a real bugbear of mine
    That I can’t find a train that’s on time
    So I stand here and wait
    Know full well I’ll be late
    It’s always those leaves on the line

    *******

    There’s one thing I’d like to explain,
    I get kind of frisky on trains
    I’m a great womanizer
    Yes, I am the train driver
    But I’ve yet to find someone complain!

    *******

    When you are riding a train
    It’s best not to take your Cocaine
    The train might be busy
    And you’re feeling dizzy
    The question is – are you insane?

  5. An 0-6-0 train in steam
    Makes my hubby smile and beam
    The Flying Scotsman?
    He is a real Fan!
    Driving it, that is his dream!

  6. Paul Mastaglio says:

    Let the train
    Take the strain
    No more car
    For those trips afar
    Enjoy your day and return home again.

    Cheers Paul 😁

  7. I once had to rack my brain,
    Whilst travelling home on the train.
    I thought and I thought,
    ‘Till my nerves became fraught.
    No ideas, it was all in vain.

  8. Ritu says:

    “Now, that really is a pain
    Can’t believe I did it again
    Just a tad too much booze
    So I had a snooze
    And I’ve gone and missed my train!”

  9. Pingback: Stubborn – (Monday Limerick #55) – Laura McHarrie @ The Hidden Edge

  10. The amazing red head, Mary Jane,
    Knew not that Spiderman stopped the train,
    Her trust was slighted;
    Their love was blighted,
    Swallowing pride is not what she’d deign!

  11. My owner thinks I’m just really dumb.
    But truly, I’m having great fun.
    On “Stay!” I run,
    And I leave on “Come!”
    Training treats are filling my tum!
    * * * * *
    We boarded a train going to Dehli.
    The driver was giving it welly.
    We’d not been going long
    Before we were singing this song:
    We’re going too fast! Our legs are shaking like jelly!
    * * * * *
    We all went out for a dinner in Staines.
    I chose chicken Madras for my main.
    The weather was foggy.
    And my rice was all soggy,
    So I sent the dish back to re-strain.

  12. Linkingpeople2003 says:

    EDUCATION is to train the mind to think,
    Station master minds the train without a blink!
    School master trains the mind,
    Former minds, the latter trains and is kind!
    Freight train or camel train, train the camera to click!

  13. I wish I were riding a train
    Instead I got caught in the rain
    I ran really fast
    Went down in a splat
    The concussion they say hurt my brain

  14. valfish56 says:

    I got caught with a fine on the train
    Whilst drunk, pulled the emergency chain
    There’s no excuse
    For improper use
    Note to self; next time engage brain!

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