Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –
Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was SPORT.
Sport can be fun, but I’m lazy.
Perhaps I’m a little bit hazy,
Only I see no joy
Running like a schoolboy.
Too much and I’m sure I’d go crazy!
I’d rather read, and sit on my bum
But that’s not so good for my tum
Find a child who likes sport
And soon you’ll get caught
Like me, now a true cricket mum!
My funny old pal was a sport
Liked to chase me with things he had bought
Feather dusters were fine
But I did draw the line
At the snake he was due to import.
I can’t find a sport I can do
Up to now I have tried twenty-two
But they all make me hot
I can’t master the squat
And am fearful I might follow through.
The day I had just become forty
I decided I should be more sporty
But on the basketball court
I heard someone retort
‘She can’t reach, because she’s such a shorty!’
In sport you must play by the rules
We were told at our Primary Schools
But when I got a bad itch
On the new football pitch
I had to start playing in mules.
My youngest son was so good at sports
He could play all different sorts
My other two not so much
They liked gaming and such
And none of the three liked short shorts!
A choice between physics and sport?
Which did I prefer to be taught?
Neither, was I good at
My efforts always fell flat!
But Art was always A on my report!
Robbie was selling me short
So I decided to take him to court
He returned my loot
So I dropped the suit
I can be a pretty good sport.
Bob’s vest sports a flower
Crocheted with much power
All gaudy and bright
It even glows at night
You’d think his bank job would sour.
After a lot of thought
We can now do sport
Golf, Tennis or a bit of cricket
There’s the ticket
That’s the end of my report.
The tennis champ, Lindsay Davenport,
Whether she was on or off the court,
Would take it on the chin,
If she didn’t quite win,
And was always a jolly good sport!
He was every girl’s hottest desire.
Set my heart and my belly on fire.
A runner was he,
With legs like great trees.
But the spoilsport would not be my squire.
Soccer needs much physical exertions,
Unlike chess, players shout to cast aspersions!
Referee’s appeal to be a sport,
But, cricket players take dort!
Match fixing, hidden corruptions!
I was never any good at sport,
In running I always got caught.
Still, I practised and practised,
‘Till I had legs of elastic.
And now I never fall short.
I was always useless at sport
I’m just not the athletic sort
I’d come last every race
I couldn’t keep pace
And at long jump I always fell short.