Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –

SPORT

Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was GIFT.

Keith Channing:

A friendship that’s suffered a rift

Can sometimes be healed by a gift.

An ill thought-out token

Can leave one heartbroken;

And you may end up getting short shrift!

Tales from the mind of Kristian:

The other day, I received a gift,

I thought would give me a much-needed lift,

But when opened, I saw

It was actually for next door,

And Boy! was I really Miffed.

Kim Smyth:

We all like to get a cool gift

Yet at times can cause a real rift

“Hers is better!”

Thought the setter

So the terrier was really miffed!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Today I got a big gift

Which gave my spirits a lift

It’s an LP, (long player)

But I have no record player!

Through junk shops I will have to sift!

Trent’s World:

Esther, without a fuss

Gives great micro challenges to us

A gift to a writer

Makes our days much brighter

Writing words on Monday without a cuss.

Paul Mastaglio:

I had a gift

But I left it in the lift

I don’t know if it went up or down

I fret and frown

I’m missing my gift.

The Hidden Edge:

My Nephew, Alec, who loves his cricket,

Is a bowler with a golden ticket,

If you catch my drift,

Tis a splendid gift,

To yell HowZat! When taking a wicket.

Lance Greenfield:

Private Frederick Hitch – a true hero

There was a proud soldier called Hitch,

Won V.C. for brave act at Rorke’s Drift.

His medal though lost,

Was bought back at a cost

And displayed at museum: a gift.


And the moral of the story is . . .

I once had a gift-horse called Dennis,

Who refused to visit the dentist.

His teeth were so hairy

That his mouth was quite scary,

And worse, he had bad halitosis.

Linking People2013:

Opened a bag of birthday gift,

A present given as a thrift!

Pussy cat was her birthday gift!

Slept with pussy cat in kist!

She has a gift of gab to list!

Sarian Lady:

I’m a sleek young horse named Gift,

Like lightning I really am swift.

You’ll be in the money.

Your days will be sunny.

Don’t look in my mouth. Get my drift?

And here are two from Joy Smith that I forgot to post last week! The prompt was ‘suit’. Huge apologies, Joy.

The man in the lavendar suit

Always gave the good girls a hoot

One day at the wheel

He did have a feel

And then they gave him the boot!


Carmen Miranda with her hat full of fruit

Would never be seen dead in a suit

All bananas or melon

Or a whole row of lemon

Wins the jackpot, and oodles of loot!

***

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38 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. Ritu says:

    I’d rather read, and sit on my bum
    But that’s not so good for my tum
    Find a child who likes sport
    And soon you’ll get caught
    Like me, now a true cricket mum!

  2. Linkingpeople2003 says:

    Soccer needs much physical exertions,

    Unlike chess, players shout to cast aspersions!

    Referee’s appeal to be a sport,

    But, cricket players take dort!

    Match fixing, hidden corruptions!

  3. Sport can be fun, but I’m lazy.
    Perhaps I’m a little bit hazy,
    Only I see no joy
    Running like a schoolboy.
    Too much and I’m sure I’d go crazy!

  4. Cathy Wattam says:

    My funny old pal was a sport
    Liked to chase me with things he had bought
    Feather dusters were fine
    But I did draw the line
    At the snake he was due to import

    *******

    I can’t find a sport I can do
    Up to now I have tried twenty-two
    But they all make me hot
    I can’t master the squat
    And am fearful I might follow through

    *******

    The day I had just become forty
    I decided I should be more sporty
    But on the basketball court
    I heard someone retort
    ‘She can’t reach, because she’s such a shorty!’

    *******

    In sport you must play by the rules
    We were told at our Primary Schools
    But when I got a bad itch
    On the new football pitch
    I had to start playing in mules

  5. trentpmcd says:

    Robbie was selling me short
    So I decided to take him to court
    He returned my loot
    So I dropped the suit
    I can be a pretty good sport
    *
    Bob’s vest sports a flower
    Crocheted with much power
    All gaudy and bright
    It even glows at night
    You’d think his bank job would sour

  6. I was never any good at sport,
    In running I always got caught.
    Still, I practised and practised,
    ‘Till I had legs of elastic.
    And now I never fall short.

  7. A choice between physics and sport?
    Which did I prefer to be taught?
    Neither, was I good at
    My efforts always fell flat!
    But Art was always A on my report!

  8. Kim Smyth says:

    My youngest son was so good at sports
    He could play all different sorts
    My other two not so much
    They liked gaming and such
    And none of the three liked short shorts!

  9. Paul Mastaglio says:

    After a lot of thought
    We can now do sport
    Golf, Tennis or a bit of cricket
    There’s the ticket
    That’s the end of my report.

    Cheers Paul 😁

  10. The tennis champ, Lindsay Davenport,
    Whether she was on or off the court,
    Would take it on the chin,
    If she didn’t quite win,
    and was always a jolly good sport!

  11. He was every girl’s hottest desire.
    Set my heart and my belly on fire.
    A runner was he,
    With legs like great trees.
    But the spoilsport would not be my squire.

  12. Pingback: Sportsmanship – (Monday Limerick #53) – Laura McHarrie @ The Hidden Edge

  13. Pingback: Acrostic Limericks 42 – Keith Kreates!

  14. valfish56 says:

    I was always useless at sport
    I’m just not the athletic sort
    I’d come last every race
    I couldn’t keep pace
    And at long jump I always fell short.

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