Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –
Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was SUIT.
I thought it would be quite a hoot
To go shopping in my birthday suit
It started quite well
Till the moment I fell –
Crushed my nuts and bruised my soft fruit.
There was a man who wore a brown suit,
With green stripes, just like a newt.
All of the time, while in his gear,
His wife stroked him when she was near.
She thought he looked so cuddly and cute.
There once was a chap with a suit
His lady did think he was cute
All dressed up
For the concert, you know
He’s the one playing the flute!
I went out to buy a new suit
lime green, the colour of fruit
But I spilt my red wine
On that garment of mine…
Ruined what had cost lots of loot!
I’m off in hot pursuit
To find something that rhymes with suit
But my quest
Hasn’t been the best
So I’ll go and have some fruit.
“A poem about clothing,” I read
Writing shirts and ties would lose my cred!
“If you want to play
Do it my way”
“Suit yourself,” I said.
My mate Matt had quite an obsession,
When hosting a networking session,
He’d wear a pink suit
With short-shorts to boot,
To much make a good first impression!
She starred in a series called ‘Suits’,
Fell in love with a prince in big boots.
Soon after they met,
In a castle they wed.
Sun snappers were there for the shoot.
Lenny so fancied his tutor,
He wished he could be her life suitor.
He gave her a rose
And then he proposed.
“Top marks for your try. On your scooter!”
And here’s one of Lance’s own:
I entered your tight, narrow passage
In my ship far too big to manage.
Now I’m blocking the way
And I can but pray.
For to sail back out will take courage!
Eva has never written a limerick before and English isn’t her first language. I think she’s done brilliantly:
Does this suit suit your needs?
Do friends like it when you meet?
Does this need suit your suit?
Or does it make you look a brute?
Just take it off before we eat!
The stag night was simply a hoot
The groom to be, pissed as a newt
Was found at daybreak
Tied to a stake
Wearing nowt but his birthday suit.
My dear, your point is moot
And I really don’t give a hoot
You may not care
But I can’t stand the stares
You’re going nowhere in your birthday suit!
Outer clothes worn together of same fabric, a suit, jacket and trousers or skirt,
Hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs make a suit for card players, who flirt!
Dresses suit her giving elegant look but he filed suit against her at a time didn’t suit her,
Police chargesheeted the suit filing person for his slur,
Blue short skirts do suit her indeed but he flung upon her dirt!
My mother thinks me quite cute,
When I’m dolled up in my best suit.
But within half an hour,
I’m covered in flour.
Amidst pastry, custard and fruit.
Trendy dress…it’s doubtful I’ll follow suit
All I own is gray loungewear mute
Too late to be a fashionista
I’m simply not the “girly” sista
Old gal’s comfort is primary pursuit.