Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –

BOSS

Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was SUIT.

Keith Channing:

I thought it would be quite a hoot

To go shopping in my birthday suit

It started quite well

Till the moment I fell –

Crushed my nuts and bruised my soft fruit.

Dave’s Poetry and Mystery:

There was a man who wore a brown suit,

With green stripes, just like a newt.

All of the time, while in his gear,

His wife stroked him when she was near.

She thought he looked so cuddly and cute.

Kim Smyth:

There once was a chap with a suit

His lady did think he was cute

All dressed up

For the concert, you know

He’s the one playing the flute!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

I went out to buy a new suit

lime green, the colour of fruit

But I spilt my red wine

On that garment of mine…

Ruined what had cost lots of loot!

Paul Mastaglio:

I’m off in hot pursuit

To find something that rhymes with suit

But my quest

Hasn’t been the best

So I’ll go and have some fruit.

Trent’s World:

“A poem about clothing,” I read

Writing shirts and ties would lose my cred!

“If you want to play

Do it my way”

“Suit yourself,” I said.

The Hidden Edge:

My mate Matt had quite an obsession,

When hosting a networking session,

He’d wear a pink suit

With short-shorts to boot,

To much make a good first impression!

Lance Greenfield:

She starred in a series called ‘Suits’,

Fell in love with a prince in big boots.

Soon after they met,

In a castle they wed.

Sun snappers were there for the shoot.

Lenny so fancied his tutor,

He wished he could be her life suitor.

He gave her a rose

And then he proposed.

“Top marks for your try. On your scooter!”

And here’s one of Lance’s own:

I entered your tight, narrow passage

In my ship far too big to manage.

Now I’m blocking the way

And I can but pray.

For to sail back out will take courage!

Eva Hnizdo:

Eva has never written a limerick before and English isn’t her first language. I think she’s done brilliantly:

Does this suit suit your needs?

Do friends like it when you meet?

Does this need suit your suit?

Or does it make you look a brute?

Just take it off before we eat!

Valerie Fish:

The stag night was simply a hoot

The groom to be, pissed as a newt

Was found at daybreak

Tied to a stake

Wearing nowt but his birthday suit.

Ritu:

My dear, your point is moot

And I really don’t give a hoot

You may not care

But I can’t stand the stares

You’re going nowhere in your birthday suit!

Linking People2013:

Outer clothes worn together of same fabric, a suit, jacket and trousers or skirt,

Hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs make a suit for card players, who flirt!

Dresses suit her giving elegant look but he filed suit against her at a time didn’t suit her,

Police chargesheeted the suit filing person for his slur,

Blue short skirts do suit her indeed but he flung upon her dirt!

Sarian Lady:

My mother thinks me quite cute,

When I’m dolled up in my best suit.

But within half an hour,

I’m covered in flour.

Amidst pastry, custard and fruit.

Zelda Rene:

Trendy dress…it’s doubtful I’ll follow suit

All I own is gray loungewear mute

Too late to be a fashionista

I’m simply not the “girly” sista

Old gal’s comfort is primary pursuit.

***

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30 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. If your company runs at a loss
    The person to blame is the boss.
    You have to work wonders
    Whilst he commits blunders
    And lives in the world of Pangloss.

  2. trentpmcd says:

    Bob was a boss who was mean
    The nastiest guy ever seen
    One poor clerk
    Was fired by the jerk
    But took revenge on the fiend
    *
    OK, not a perfect rhyme, but a little less violent than my original thought…
    *
    Julie was a boss who was nice
    I’d surely work for her twice!
    She praised everyone
    For the work they had done
    And always gave great advice

  3. Kim Smyth says:

    I once had a wonderful boss
    Whose charms on me weren’t a loss
    “Your secrets,” she said
    “Never give up until dead!”
    So out the window with them I did toss!

  4. There once was a cowboy called Hoss
    Who fell out, big time, with his boss.
    He jumped on his mount
    With a big angry pout
    And shouted, I’m off. And it’s your loss!

  5. Pingback: Limerick humor | lyncrain

  6. Barbara Owen says:

    Boss
    His lordship thinks he’s the boss
    The rest of us don’t give a toss
    Yes dear! No dear!
    Three bags full dear
    We all know the dog is the boss!

  7. Daktari’s lion was called Clarence,
    Boss-eyed and strange in appearance.
    Although mild he appeared,
    When poachers came near,
    His roars saw them off in the distance.

  8. Pingback: The Boss – (Monday Limerick #51) – Laura McHarrie @ The Hidden Edge

  9. Our business chief is called Joss,
    She makes a pretty good boss,
    She’s fair with our pay,
    Oft gives praise away,
    And ‘hardly’ ever gets cross!

  10. Linkingpeople2003 says:

    BOSS always right grants survival but a leader is not boss,

    Boss doesn’t lead team, commands with a gloss!

    Leaders work with the team unlike boss sitting in armchair,

    Upon retirement boss is like any other to compare!

    Leaders never retire unlike boss!

  11. Pingback: Random Limericks 33 – Keith Kreates!

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