Tights
Tights. Now there’s a word,
Which is quite absurd,
Panty hose is just as bad,
And pop socks are a daft fad,
The men all like stockings best,
But those straps are such a pest,
Knee highs seem to be knee lows,
Falling right down to my toes.
But tights take the crown,
For making me frown,
Whatever the size, it’s wrong,
Sometimes they are far too long,
Other times they are too short,
And between my thighs get caught,
Medium would do, I think,
But all that’s left is bright pink.
For legs that are wan,
There’s American tan,
Though the rest of me’s a sight,
White arms, brown legs doesn’t look right,
Ivory makes my legs glow,
Even in the pitch black though,
Barely black are a nice hue,
But by mistake, I buy blue.
Now and then it all works out,
A perfect pair, there’s no doubt,
Alas, there’s always a hole,
Sometimes starting at the sole,
Spreading into a ladder,
Right up, making me madder,
So now I really don’t care,
My legs can always go bare.
***
Amen, Sister!
Thank you 😊❤
This really made me giggle, Esther. I had to put on a smart dress today and high heels, in order to collect my awards and have my pictures taken for the press. I had no pantihose, not a single pair, so I went without. I had to dust my shoes.
So it was very appropriate for you then! Congratulations on your awards.
Thank you, Esther. I’m hoping this will be my last year – I’ve had enough of all this stress and strain. I have a lot of these awards as I have been in this game for 23 years.
It sounds like it’s a lot of stress for you so I think you’re doing the right thing.
Yes, I have to consider the detrimental effects on my health now.
Tights – the best use I’ve found for them is to strain old paint!
Hilarious!!
Reblogged this on blogging807.
Thank you ever so much 😁
I like soft, thick socks. Oh, and not needing to go outside so I can keep wearing them!
Me too, Chelsea.
Honestly, how do women put up with those things? 🙂
I have no idea!! 🤣
I remember my teen years, when tights were such a frustration for a young, amorous chap.
I was shocked when I discovered that the crotch of my girlfriend’s tights was about six inches above the knee.
Hilarious!
A Short Story For Friday
Tights
Tights, now there’s a word, which is quite absurd. Panty hose is just as bad and pop socks are a daft fad. The men all like stockings best but those straps are such a pest. Knee highs seem to be knee lows, falling right down to my toes. But, tights take the crown for making me frown whatever the size, it’s wrong. Sometimes they are far too long, other times they are too short and between my thighs get caught. Medium would do, I think, but all that’s left is bright pink. For legs that are wan, there’s American tan, though the rest of me’s a sight. White arms, brown legs doesn’t look right. Ivory makes my legs glow even in the pitch black though. Barely black are a nice hue but by mistake I buy blue. Now and then it all works out, a perfect pair, there’s no doubt. Alas, there’s always a hole, sometimes starting at the sole, spreading into a ladder, right up, making me madder, so now I really don’t care. My legs can always go bare!