Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –
FAKE
Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was BEER.
Some may think this unusual or queer
But I really do not enjoy beer
Neither porter nor ale
Be it black, brown or pale.
I can always drive home, have no fear.
Beer comes in all sorts of flavours
drunk it makes you give out favours
A sup of fresh beer
I’m afraid you should fear
it may cost you a loss of your labours.
A girl I knew once hated beer
Yet vodka would bring her some cheer
Maybe cider or wine
She said was divine
But margaritas she found very dear!
Paul Mastaglio:
Never fear
I’ll ask for a beer
I’ll go to the pub
Get some grub
And wish my mate was here.
Bob went out for a beer or two
With his good friends Tina and Sue
The ladies hit the dance floor
So Bob drank more and more
Until too much beer made him spew.
–
Beer is a mighty good drink
At least that’s what I used to think
But the drink for me
Is a pot of tea
For fermented hops really does stink.
It’s good fun to gather over a beer
But not when we’re full of fear
Covid-19 must go
That invisible foe
Is ruining all we British hold dear.
The naturist Alain Armistead
Brewed beer, in the nude, in his shed.
On his famed open days
He received special praise
Because he always displayed a good head.
I heard the man order a cold beer
But twas lukewarm, like a woman’s tear
When her heart was broken
By careless words spoken
Cos, the bachelor gave into fear.
Sometimes a beer sounds very nice
With cheese, crackers, frothed mug on ice
I’d like to feel a tad bit buzzy
But head would pound, vision turn fuzzy
Thus, alcohol will ne’er be vice.
Sharon Tingle:
On this island, we love Red Stripe Beer
Yeh mon! We celebrating its ninety second year.
Without a doubt, at parties it’s the main alcohol.
Watch out though, we shake and spray it like an aerosol
When we partying here!
***
Political cynic, 2020.
Politicians? They really are fake.
So many appear on the take.
Not out in the open
But still, I’ll bet, hoping
Some personal profit to make.
Oh so true! Thanks for the entertainment, Keith.
Thanks for the prompt, Esther.
Glad you enjoy them.
I’m droping this line
Hoping to make a rhyme
But it feels a bit fake
When this is all I can make
So better come back next time.
Cheers Paul 😁
😂😂
She was as fake as could be
With boobs to rival Dolly
Inflated lips
Liposuctioned hips
A real life plastic Barbie!
Love her 🤣🤣
😝😝😝
There once was a man named Harlow
Who tried to sell a fake van Gogh
He swore it was true
Cost a million or two
Now he’s in jail for a decade or so
Excellent!
The fake mona Lisa was taken
By an art thief who wanted to waken
An urge for fine art
And this was a start
He couldn’t afford to the Louvre, to hasten.
This is great. Thank you.
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Pssst … Hi there, you handsome rake
Hey babe, just fifty dollar for a make
What? You not interested? … your loss!
Wait, oh …I’m sorry boss
Just pretending; tis all a fake!
Ok, so here’s the thing …
I’m so beautiful – I bling!
But “this me” has left me penniless
In my attempts to remake and impress
Fake hair, nose and “cups”, I gifted me in Beijing
Fabulous!
You know it’s really sad
When journalists are called bad
After working so hard
Reporting news even when barred
Calling it “Fake news” Sir, really makes me mad!
Another great one 😊
Some food I like to bake.
Some food I’m afraid I fake.
A full Christmas dinner,
And I’m on a winner.
Not so with a shop-bought cake.
Very good!
His whole persona was nowt but a fake
Found out too late he was just on the take
Reeled me in with his lies
Then said his goodbyes
Leaving chaos and heartbreak in his wake
Great. Very clever!
“I’m not fond of red velvet cake,”
Said the chef, as she set out to bake.
Acrylics all washed
Blonde curls all coiffed
She added, “I’ve never liked fake.”
Very good, Chel. Thank you 😊
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