Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –

BEER

Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was PURSE.

Keith Channing:

Please don’t ever ask me for money

Unless you’ve a reason that’s funny

Releasing hard cash

Seems somehow slapdash

Except for the famed Easter Bunny.

Kim Smyth:

There once was a girl with an old purse

Who was seeking advice from a nurse

“Get a new smaller one,” she said

Or a bad back you will dread

And you don’t ever want that said curse!

Paul Mastaglio:

You spit and curse

When there’s no money in your purse

But that’s OK

When you shop today

Use your card and don’t be terse.

Trent’s World:

Leella was working under a curse

So she dressed up as a hospital nurse

She found Wizard Ted

And cut off his head

Then carried it home in her purse.

A purse is a useful bag

Carried by princess and poor hag

You can bring your whole life

Without much strife

But too much and your arm will sag.

Sarian Lady:

If ever I needed to curse

It’s when I’ve forgotten my purse.

I arrive at the shops

And spend lots and lots.

Then find I have to diverse.

Chel Owens:

“Stay back, now!” said Wendel the witch.

She wanted to scratch at an itch

To cast a new curse

On everyone’s verse

So writers could fill just one niche.

Zack and Zelda:

I used to live out of my purse

Large ones I chose, not like small haiku verse

They held ALL my makeup, two or three books

Graduated to tote bags (family hid scornful looks)

Now pockets suffice…I feel lighter, not averse.

Lyncrain:

This dang growing old is such a curse

Can’t remember where I set my purse

So much to think about

Stop, you don’t need to shout

You act like I’m ready for a hearse.

What used to be so easy to do

It’s not what it was tying my shoe

My toes are where they were

Balance makes me unsure

But you act like I don’t have a clue.

This dang growing old is such a curse

Can’t remember where I set my purse

So much to think about

Stop, you don’t need to shout

You act like I’m ready for a hearse.

Oh dear, what are you glaring at now

You look like you’ve swallowed a dang cow

Oops I forget my teeth

I need glue underneath

I needed more time than you allow.

This dang growing old is such a curse

Can’t remember where I set my purse

So much to think about

Stop, you don’t need to shout

You act like I’m ready for a hearse.

***

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24 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. Beer comes in all sorts of flavours
    drunk it makes you give out favours
    A sup of fresh beer
    I’m afraid you should fear
    it may cost you a loss of your labours

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Some may think this unusual or queer
    But I really do not enjoy beer
    Neither porter nor ale
    Be it black, brown or pale.
    I can always drive home, have no fear.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. trentpmcd says:

    Bob went out for a beer or two
    With his good friends Tina and Sue
    The ladies hit the dance floor
    So Bob drank more and more
    Until too much beer made him spew
    *
    Beer is a mighty good drink
    At least that’s what I used to think
    But the drink for me
    Is a pot of tea
    For fermented hops really does stink
    (Not a true story 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Paul Mastaglio says:

    Never fear
    I’ll ask for a beer
    I’ll go to the pub
    Get some grub
    And wish my mate was here.

    Cheers Paul 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Kim Smyth says:

    A girl I knew once hated beer
    Yet vodka would bring her some cheer
    Maybe cider or wine
    She said was divine
    But margaritas she found very dear!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s good fun to gather over a beer
    But not when we’re full of fear
    Covid-19 must go
    That invisible foe
    Is ruining all we British hold dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. TanGental says:

    The naturist Alain Armistead
    Brewed beer, in the nude, in his shed.
    On his famed open days
    He received special praise
    Because he always displayed a good head.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: #Laughing Along With a Limerick | lyncrain

  9. Pingback: Limerick – Z & Z Poetry

  10. Sharon Tingle says:

    On this island, we love Red Stripe Beer
    Yeh mon! we celebrating its ninety second year.
    Without a doubt, at parties it’s the main alcohol.
    Watch out though, we shake and spray it like an aerosol
    When we partying here!

    Liked by 1 person

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