Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –
BEER
Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was PURSE.
Please don’t ever ask me for money
Unless you’ve a reason that’s funny
Releasing hard cash
Seems somehow slapdash
Except for the famed Easter Bunny.
There once was a girl with an old purse
Who was seeking advice from a nurse
“Get a new smaller one,” she said
Or a bad back you will dread
And you don’t ever want that said curse!
Paul Mastaglio:
You spit and curse
When there’s no money in your purse
But that’s OK
When you shop today
Use your card and don’t be terse.
Leella was working under a curse
So she dressed up as a hospital nurse
She found Wizard Ted
And cut off his head
Then carried it home in her purse.
–
A purse is a useful bag
Carried by princess and poor hag
You can bring your whole life
Without much strife
But too much and your arm will sag.
Sarian Lady:
If ever I needed to curse
It’s when I’ve forgotten my purse.
I arrive at the shops
And spend lots and lots.
Then find I have to diverse.
“Stay back, now!” said Wendel the witch.
She wanted to scratch at an itch
To cast a new curse
On everyone’s verse
So writers could fill just one niche.
I used to live out of my purse
Large ones I chose, not like small haiku verse
They held ALL my makeup, two or three books
Graduated to tote bags (family hid scornful looks)
Now pockets suffice…I feel lighter, not averse.
This dang growing old is such a curse
Can’t remember where I set my purse
So much to think about
Stop, you don’t need to shout
You act like I’m ready for a hearse.
–
What used to be so easy to do
It’s not what it was tying my shoe
My toes are where they were
Balance makes me unsure
But you act like I don’t have a clue.
–
This dang growing old is such a curse
Can’t remember where I set my purse
So much to think about
Stop, you don’t need to shout
You act like I’m ready for a hearse.
–
Oh dear, what are you glaring at now
You look like you’ve swallowed a dang cow
Oops I forget my teeth
I need glue underneath
I needed more time than you allow.
–
This dang growing old is such a curse
Can’t remember where I set my purse
So much to think about
Stop, you don’t need to shout
You act like I’m ready for a hearse.
***

Beer comes in all sorts of flavours
drunk it makes you give out favours
A sup of fresh beer
I’m afraid you should fear
it may cost you a loss of your labours
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Great fun 😊
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Ta hun!
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Some may think this unusual or queer
But I really do not enjoy beer
Neither porter nor ale
Be it black, brown or pale.
I can always drive home, have no fear.
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Witty take on the prompt 😊
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Thanks, Esther.
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Bob went out for a beer or two
With his good friends Tina and Sue
The ladies hit the dance floor
So Bob drank more and more
Until too much beer made him spew
*
Beer is a mighty good drink
At least that’s what I used to think
But the drink for me
Is a pot of tea
For fermented hops really does stink
(Not a true story 😉 )
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These are just brilliant 😊
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Thanks!
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Never fear
I’ll ask for a beer
I’ll go to the pub
Get some grub
And wish my mate was here.
Cheers Paul 😁
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A very nice rhyme.
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A girl I knew once hated beer
Yet vodka would bring her some cheer
Maybe cider or wine
She said was divine
But margaritas she found very dear!
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Ha, ha. Really funny. Thanks, Kim.
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It’s good fun to gather over a beer
But not when we’re full of fear
Covid-19 must go
That invisible foe
Is ruining all we British hold dear.
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Thanks, Robbie. Excellent.
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The naturist Alain Armistead
Brewed beer, in the nude, in his shed.
On his famed open days
He received special praise
Because he always displayed a good head.
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Now that had me laughing out loud!
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Naughty i know. Thank heavens you’re open minded!!
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Pingback: #Laughing Along With a Limerick | lyncrain
https://lyncrain.com/2020/10/19/laughing-along-with-a-limerick-6/
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Pingback: Limerick – Z & Z Poetry
Here’s mine 🙂 https://breathingshallowpoetry.wordpress.com/2020/10/20/limerick/
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On this island, we love Red Stripe Beer
Yeh mon! we celebrating its ninety second year.
Without a doubt, at parties it’s the main alcohol.
Watch out though, we shake and spray it like an aerosol
When we partying here!
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This made me smile. Thank you!
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