Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –

BEER

Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was PURSE.

Keith Channing:

Please don’t ever ask me for money

Unless you’ve a reason that’s funny

Releasing hard cash

Seems somehow slapdash

Except for the famed Easter Bunny.

Kim Smyth:

There once was a girl with an old purse

Who was seeking advice from a nurse

“Get a new smaller one,” she said

Or a bad back you will dread

And you don’t ever want that said curse!

Paul Mastaglio:

You spit and curse

When there’s no money in your purse

But that’s OK

When you shop today

Use your card and don’t be terse.

Trent’s World:

Leella was working under a curse

So she dressed up as a hospital nurse

She found Wizard Ted

And cut off his head

Then carried it home in her purse.

A purse is a useful bag

Carried by princess and poor hag

You can bring your whole life

Without much strife

But too much and your arm will sag.

Sarian Lady:

If ever I needed to curse

It’s when I’ve forgotten my purse.

I arrive at the shops

And spend lots and lots.

Then find I have to diverse.

Chel Owens:

“Stay back, now!” said Wendel the witch.

She wanted to scratch at an itch

To cast a new curse

On everyone’s verse

So writers could fill just one niche.

Zack and Zelda:

I used to live out of my purse

Large ones I chose, not like small haiku verse

They held ALL my makeup, two or three books

Graduated to tote bags (family hid scornful looks)

Now pockets suffice…I feel lighter, not averse.

Lyncrain:

This dang growing old is such a curse

Can’t remember where I set my purse

So much to think about

Stop, you don’t need to shout

You act like I’m ready for a hearse.

What used to be so easy to do

It’s not what it was tying my shoe

My toes are where they were

Balance makes me unsure

But you act like I don’t have a clue.

This dang growing old is such a curse

Can’t remember where I set my purse

So much to think about

Stop, you don’t need to shout

You act like I’m ready for a hearse.

Oh dear, what are you glaring at now

You look like you’ve swallowed a dang cow

Oops I forget my teeth

I need glue underneath

I needed more time than you allow.

This dang growing old is such a curse

Can’t remember where I set my purse

So much to think about

Stop, you don’t need to shout

You act like I’m ready for a hearse.

***

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24 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. Beer comes in all sorts of flavours
    drunk it makes you give out favours
    A sup of fresh beer
    I’m afraid you should fear
    it may cost you a loss of your labours

  2. Some may think this unusual or queer
    But I really do not enjoy beer
    Neither porter nor ale
    Be it black, brown or pale.
    I can always drive home, have no fear.

  3. trentpmcd says:

    Bob went out for a beer or two
    With his good friends Tina and Sue
    The ladies hit the dance floor
    So Bob drank more and more
    Until too much beer made him spew
    *
    Beer is a mighty good drink
    At least that’s what I used to think
    But the drink for me
    Is a pot of tea
    For fermented hops really does stink
    (Not a true story 😉 )

  4. Paul Mastaglio says:

    Never fear
    I’ll ask for a beer
    I’ll go to the pub
    Get some grub
    And wish my mate was here.

    Cheers Paul 😁

  5. Kim Smyth says:

    A girl I knew once hated beer
    Yet vodka would bring her some cheer
    Maybe cider or wine
    She said was divine
    But margaritas she found very dear!

  6. It’s good fun to gather over a beer
    But not when we’re full of fear
    Covid-19 must go
    That invisible foe
    Is ruining all we British hold dear.

  7. TanGental says:

    The naturist Alain Armistead
    Brewed beer, in the nude, in his shed.
    On his famed open days
    He received special praise
    Because he always displayed a good head.

  8. Pingback: #Laughing Along With a Limerick | lyncrain

  9. Pingback: Limerick – Z & Z Poetry

  10. Sharon Tingle says:

    On this island, we love Red Stripe Beer
    Yeh mon! we celebrating its ninety second year.
    Without a doubt, at parties it’s the main alcohol.
    Watch out though, we shake and spray it like an aerosol
    When we partying here!

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