Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –


Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt was DATE. My apologies if yours doesn’t feature here. I have scheduled this post and your limerick may have been sent in after my surgery; if so I’ll be posting it when I’m feeling better.

Keith Channing:

I felt like a bit of a fool

As I stood by the side of the pool

Although I’m too poor

To buy Deglet Nour

Why on earth should I not eat Medjool?

It’s sad, but I have to relate

When my wife asked me out on a date

I looked at my lunch,

My pants in a bunch

And said I’d too much on my plate.

A man who was slightly more mellow,

A charming and affable fellow,

Got as far as line three.

A man on his hols in Penzance

Thought, “I’m smart, maybe I’ll take a chance.

I know I’ll do more,”

And he got to line four.

Richmond Road’s in response to Keith’s:

Hey, Keith, I’m impressed with your verse

Is it art? Or is it a curse?

At first you did fine

But each subsequent line

Made your rhyme sound progressively worse.

And Keith’s response back:

Your comment doth please me, my friend

And I pray that your praise will not end.

Composing a rhyme

Doesn’t take too much time

But they’re minutes I’m glad to expend.

And two more from Richmond Road:

I remember when you couldn’t wait

For my call “can we go on a date?”

‘Cross the threshold I carried

You, after we’d married

And now, you’re invariably late.

I’ve lost all regard for the date

It’s today, and tomorrow can wait

Don’t try to be clever

You can’t live forever

Just be happy before it’s too late.

Christine Mallaband-brown:

I had an appointment with the doc

So I decided to wear a pink frock

Then I thought it’s no date

And I got there real late

Wearing a jumper and only one sock!

Paul Mastaglio:

Her name was Kate

And she was very late

So I checked my phone

To see why I was still alone

Only to find I had the wrong date.

Kim Smyth:

My hubby and I never dated

‘Twas fate for us to be related

It just took one dance

And little romance

For us to become so elated!


There’s one thing I really hate

When preparing for a romantic date

Depilate, or not?

Hairy legs are not hot

In case we decide to mate!


Did I tell you about our first date

Actually it’s a stroke of fate

The odds of us meeting

In person was fleeting

Online relationship to soulmate.

Zack and Zelda:

September’s calendar shows smudged date

Less-than-happy reminder I’ll be sixty-eight

I never planned to stay this long

Outlived my wardrobe and heart’s dreamy song

But maybe God’s best comes to those waiting late.


Top 13 Inspirational Quotes of 2014 – #1 No Expiration Date
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10 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. Just look at the state of my hair!
    This lockdowns been really unfair
    My mane has extended
    Far more than intended
    From the top to the foot of the stairs!

  2. Paul Mastaglio says:

    At this, I had a good look
    I long time, I took
    I sat and thought
    And came up with nought
    So went back to my book.

    Cheers Paul 😁

  3. It really is not a good look
    To be too absorbed in your book
    You think you’re so cool
    Yet you act like a fool
    Beware, no excuses I’ll brook

    So, look and enjoy, by all means
    Imagine you’re still in your teens
    Enjoy graduation
    Then book a vacation
    To Hong Kong or the Philippines

    And while you’re enjoying your break
    Don’t forget your best-seller to take
    Just don’t look astounded
    If you are surrounded
    By people who think you’re a fake.

  4. Kim Smyth says:

    Once I decided to look
    At a cover of another’s new book
    The colors so bright
    The title a delight,
    Yet, the story I very much mistook!

  5. trentpmcd says:

    There once was a girl named Pam
    Whose look was sure to damn
    My, oh my
    When she gave the evil eye
    It hit hit you with a BAM!

    I once tried a new look
    I found on the cover of a book
    As all could see
    It wasn’t right for me
    So I was sadly mistook

  6. Ritu says:

    “Tonight, Dear, I’m going to cook!”
    “Dear God, I can barely look!
    It’s going to be messy
    But I can’t get too stressy,
    At least he’s using a cook book!”

  7. Pingback: Where Do You Look? (Limerick) | Breathing Shallow Poetry

  8. Valerie A fish says:

    It was love at first sight for us two
    All it took was one look and we knew
    I met my Mr Right
    That memorable night
    And tomorrow we’re saying ‘I Do’.

  9. Pingback: Random Limericks 4 – Keith Kreates!

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