It’s time for your Monday motivation and smile. Please send me your limericks. They really are giving everyone a lift. Here are your wonderful creations from last week:
Nose pickings, said Mrs Graw
Have practical uses galore
By rolling and folding
And carefully moulding
You can make condoms, cheap, for the poor.
– My old man’s from his bogey limerick collection.
There was an old man called Fred
Who spent lots of time in his shed
Singing and sawing
All hours of the morning
Meant his wife knew he wasn’t yet dead.
There was a man bought some loo rolls
And half a dozen big food bowls
When asked why he’d done it
He replied with great wit
Well I always eat my soup with a roll!
There’s a thing about being inside
A place where you can run and hide
You might be annoyed
But people you’ll avoid
And keep the virus from your hide.
It seems that it was fated
That we become socially isolated
The people are smart
And stay far apart
And now the streets are de-populated.
It is warm and feels like spring
And the birds have begun to sing
A song of rebirth
Right here on Earth
And the hope a new season will bring.
There once was a swinger from Bangalore
Who thought isolation a great big bore
Since sex with a stranger
Put lives in danger
He couldn’t have fun anymore.
You, big man,
Have nice tan,
You, look good on telly,
Even with fat belly,
And you called Dan.
There once were some doggies so sweet
Who liked to stay close to my feet
They’re laying here now
As I write this and wow!
As usual, they’re waiting for me to eat!
There was this bug from Wuhan
That spreads as fast as it can
With exponential speed
It gets us in deep
Going unhindered from man to man.
I am a nurse sent home
But relax ‘cuz I’m not sick
Doctors don’t get their surgeries
Unless they’re emergencies
And our case load went down real quick.
A seventh grade student wrote this about me:
There once was a teacher named Longest
Who thought that she was the strongest.
She tried to lift ten, then tried once again,
And found out she was the wrongest.
Rae Longest (former junior high teacher)
There was a old lady called June
Whose hands were as dry as a prune.
She washed them all day
Wiped the virus away
Whilst humming a solitary tune.
Alone in a garden was a rat
Who evaded the claws of the cat.
Along came a sage
With a portable cage
And re-homed the rat intact.