Laughing Along With A Limerick

It’s time for your Monday motivation and smile. Please send me your limericks. They really are giving everyone a lift. Here are your wonderful creations from last week:

Geoff Le Pard:

Nose pickings, said Mrs Graw
Have practical uses galore
By rolling and folding
And carefully moulding
You can make condoms, cheap, for the poor.

– My old man’s from his bogey limerick collection.

Hugh Roberts:

There was an old man called Fred
Who spent lots of time in his shed
Singing and sawing
All hours of the morning
Meant his wife knew he wasn’t yet dead.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

There was a man bought some loo rolls
And half a dozen big food bowls
When asked why he’d done it
He replied with great wit
Well I always eat my soup with a roll!

Trent’s World:

There’s a thing about being inside
A place where you can run and hide
You might be annoyed
But people you’ll avoid
And keep the virus from your hide.

It seems that it was fated
That we become socially isolated
The people are smart
And stay far apart
And now the streets are de-populated.

It is warm and feels like spring
And the birds have begun to sing
A song of rebirth
Right here on Earth
And the hope a new season will bring.

There once was a swinger from Bangalore
Who thought isolation a great big bore
Since sex with a stranger
Put lives in danger
He couldn’t have fun anymore.

Paul Mastaglio:

You, big man,

Have nice tan,

You, look good on telly,

Even with fat belly,

And you called Dan.

Kim Smyth:

There once were some doggies so sweet
Who liked to stay close to my feet
They’re laying here now
As I write this and wow!
As usual, they’re waiting for me to eat!


There was this bug from Wuhan
That spreads as fast as it can
With exponential speed
It gets us in deep
Going unhindered from man to man.


I am a nurse sent home
But relax ‘cuz I’m not sick
Doctors don’t get their surgeries
Unless they’re emergencies
And our case load went down real quick.

Rae Reads:

A seventh grade student wrote this about me:

There once was a teacher named Longest

Who thought that she was the strongest.

She tried to lift ten, then tried once again,

And found out she was the wrongest.

Rae Longest (former junior high teacher)


There was a old lady called June

Whose hands were as dry as a prune.

She washed them all day

Wiped the virus away

Whilst humming a solitary tune.

Alone in a garden was a rat

Who evaded the claws of the cat.

Along came a sage

With a portable cage

And re-homed the rat intact.


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18 Responses to Laughing Along With A Limerick

  1. TanGental says:

    Unlike the pigeon or the owl
    the bustard is a curious fowl
    It is saved, you see
    From illegitimacy
    By means of one altered vowel
    (another my dad told us)

    Or this one which is said to have been placed by JB Priestley in the Times classified ads after he was challenged by the editor who said the Times would never publish a limerick (I’ve set it out, not as it would appear in the ads, but as a limerick)

    A Peripatetic vicar has want
    Of a second hand portable font
    Will exchange for the same
    A picture, in frame
    Of the suffragan bishop of Vermont

  2. Look what happens when I get behind on my reading! You start doing limericks!

    There once was a man who loved lard;
    He used it to poem like The Bard.
    “Rub it in lib’r’lly,”
    He told his two progeny,
    “Slip along, oh proud House of LePard!”

    Just today, whilst I sat in my bed,
    I thought, “What if I were named ‘Fred?’
    Would my toes smell as sweet?
    -How ’bout my feet?”
    Said my husband, “Just *sleep* in the bed!”

  3. I once owned a lovely old cat
    Whose name you will see was ‘chat’
    She used to say mioaw
    And moo like a cow
    And flew round the room like a bat.

  4. joylennick says:

    Some…were quite funny!! Thank you.
    Smiling or laughing are always better than crying.Take care. Virtual hug. x

  5. Paul Mastaglio says:


    You want to play a game,

    So you ask her name,

    She’s not saying,

    No intention of playing,

    Sending you back from where you came.

    Cheers Paul 😁


  6. Sanandi-jacq says:

    A crafty old moggie named Mitzi
    Sipping wine got alarmingly tipsy.
    The birds that she sought
    Knew they’d never get caught
    And pecked off the tail of the gypsy!

  7. They made me smile 🙂

  8. Valerie Fish says:

    The missus rumbled our affair
    When she came across a blonde hair
    In the marital bed
    (the wife’s a redhead)
    Now it’s curtains for the au pair.

  9. Valerie Fish says:

    Thanks Esther. Happy Easter x

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