My Weekly Writing Challenge

If you need a little inspiration to get your creative juices flowing, try my weekly writing challenge. You have two weeks for this one (til Thursday 9th June) as I’m going to be away so no excuses for not giving it a go!:

Option one: Write a limerick with the word PLONKER (thank you Al Lane!) in it somewhere

Option two: Write a poem on the theme of BOOKS

Option three: Write a twenty-word story using all of the following words: WORDS, DOUGAL, DALLIANCE, ELIXIR, GAMBOL and PLETHORA

Last week option one was to write a limerick with the word BERK featuring in it somewhere. You clearly enjoyed this one:

Keith Channing, as usual, was quick to respond with his witty quintet:

I needed a couple of bob
So went out to find a new job
I’m happy to work
But I felt such a berk
No, really; don’t be such a snob!

I’ll never be tempted to shirk
Even though my new boss is a berk
I might just attack
If he stays on my back
Although that’s when I do my best work.

The county of Berkshire’s to blame
For taking in vain my chief’s name
Not his real name, you see
Just how he seems to me
As a limerick, that’s seriously lame.

At Berkeley Elaine went to uni
She whose mother’s a bit of a loonie
If it weren’t for the booze
She could win more than lose
But that Benjamin’s so bloomin’ puny.

Berk is an interesting word
In fact, it’s the daftest I’ve heard
It means someone stupid
And that rhymes with cupid
Now isn’t that just too absurd?

Jason Moody sent in one we can all empathise with:

‘Incorrect password’ it said
So my palm once again met my head
Why won’t you work?
You electronic berk
So I gave up and went back to bed.

And Keith Channing sent in a brilliant sequel:

The electronic wizard’s skulduggery
Was no more than sheer mental thuggery
I tossed and I turned
My fever it burned
But could I get sleep? Could I… heck as like!

Bindu has written two entertaining limericks:

What an insufferable, incorrigible berk
Is that inefficient spectacled clerk!
The moment his fingers touch the key pad
Monitors turn dark and really sad,
While his manager peers down, wearing a smirk.

With hands on the hips the boss does lurk
Towers & hovers above the quivering smurf.
Who takes into his stride this technical snag
Oh what he would not do to avoid this nag!
Got a better plan than this to shirk the work.

Graeme Sandford always writes something a little different:

I once was a travelling through Berkshire
In my van, when it never did catch fire
It didn’t break down
So my smile didn’t frown
And I reached my destination safely in Oxfordshire.

Now, I’ve just been told off about my recent Limerick
About Berkshire and my journey to get through there quick
‘It’s ‘Royal’ Berkshire!’ I was told
One right Royal Berkieite did scold
So, I am corrected, my badd, I am such a dick!

Oops, now I’ve upset all the prude ones
By being crass in my writing of word-puns
A dick, I said I was;
And why, just because;
I’m a berk-sure enough for those word-nuns.

Al Lane loved this one and has challenged me to use as many similar words as I can – hence next week’s ‘plonker’!:

For some, their time spent at school
Is a time for playing the fool
But on starting work
Don’t be a berk
Knuckle down, and play by the rules!

I’m thrilled to welcome Stella for the first time. Please click on the link to read her super limerick:

https://stellaseawaft.wordpress.com/2016/05/25/homeworks-never-finished/

Option two was to write a poem on the theme of secrets. Here are the thought-provoking results:

Ladyleemanila has unleashed her imagination for her poem. Please click on the following link to view it:

https://ladyleemanila.wordpress.com/2016/05/19/the-secret-path/

Bindu sent in a fun poem:

Hush! It’s something not to be told
Guard it as treasure, its worth more than gold.
Clutch it, hold it close to your heart
Share it with none; well that is your part.
In this game of holding back what you can’t share,
You are sure to demonstrate that you truly care.
But should you reveal what you had to conceal,
Cross my heart, won’t tell you know (no) more.
Hush! It’s a secret!

Geoff Le Pard‘s is absolutely brilliant. Please go to his page to view it:

https://geofflepard.com/2016/05/22/shakespeares-secret-sonnet-poetry-prompt/

Graeme Sandford also treats us to a poem:

Let me tell you something
Let me tell you a secret
As long as you can keep it
Under your hat.

No, I should keep secrets to myself
Store them in my brain cupboard
Upon the secrets shelf
That would be best.

If I told you
Would you promise not to tell?
Well? Would you?
Can you keep a secret well?

Maybe I will tell you a different secret
One that I made up
And see if you can keep that one.

It may just prove how good you are
At keeping secrets
Or how bad
Or both.

Anyway, the real secret-
Not the made up one –
Is something that I am not supposed to tell
I promised
And I can keep a secret…
Well…

Stella has written a clever poem. Please take a peek:

https://stellaseawaft.wordpress.com/2016/05/25/buried-secret-treasure/

I’m thrilled to see Les Moriarty back with his beautifully atmospheric poem:

They stay with only us,
We like to think.
Thoughts, feelings, dreams.
If I told you mine what would you do?
Hold them close with a warm heart.
Or scatter them, like confetti at a wedding.
Secrets
Kept in the mood and in the heart.
Always there,
Waiting to escape.
One day they will,
One day the secrets will be out.
And the wind will cry your name.
Secrets
Do you want to know one?
A constant source of intrigue and whispers.
It’s just a little shadow
That follows me everywhere I go.
Oh how I would love to impart
The information in my heart.
Secrets
Alas, they will have to remain
Close to me and I shall refrain
From telling this person what they are.
Which fills me with sorrow and also with hope
That they have picked up the little signs
That secrets give out all the time.
Jane Basil joined in with her powerful poem. Do visit her site to see it:

Option three was your flash fiction option – to write a twenty-word story using all of the following words: DESTROYED, ALIBI, PROTOTYPE, NAUGHTY, BOB and BALLET:

Visit Jane Basil‘s blog to see her wonderful stories:

https://janebasilblog.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/a-spot-of-ballet/

EDC Writing always delivers a super story:

No alibi, prototype destroyed …the charge. Bob couldn’t hide his guilt, too evident, like naughty tight things at the ballet.

Jason Moody had fun. He’s so good at these:

Bob was done with the Alibi channel. He felt naughty, he took scissors and destroyed his daughters ballet shoe prototype.

Bob was a prototype. A naughty one. He once destroyed a ballet school. His alibi?
“But I love that place!”

“Ballet!”
“Destroyed!”
“Bob!”
“Prototype!”
“Alibi!”
“Naughty!”

“Very good,” said the lecturer. “Now say the first number you think of…go!”

Bindu also sent in a funny story:

Bob used a naughty alibi while creating a prototype of ballet shoes that destroyed all flaws during the dainty dance.

Please go to Stella‘s site to see her wonderful story:

https://stellaseawaft.wordpress.com/2016/05/25/case-closed/

 

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44 Responses to My Weekly Writing Challenge

  1. I cheated and baked my new conker,
    Believing it would be a stonker,
    After only three hits
    It broke into bits,
    Now I feel feel a right blooming plonker.

    • esthernewton says:

      Ha, ha! Very funny – and you’re so quick!

      • May be more later – hectic day today…

      • esthernewton says:

        No rush. Hope your day goes well.

      • Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go!

        “You plonker!” I heard from my brother.
        I’d done something wrong or the other,
        But try as I might
        I can’t get it right.
        He’s worse than my wicked step-mother.

        But she’s not as bad as she’s painted,
        Her character’s all but untainted.
        I’d quite like to bonk her
        (Well – it rhymes with plonker)
        If we were not so well acquainted.

        She tends to be over-protective
        Though her efforts are hardly effective.
        I’m such a plonker;
        I need her to conquer
        My shyness and moods introspective.

        It’s not only I who’s a loser
        Winding up every night at the boozer,
        If she has too much plonk
        Her response is to honk,
        Which, in truth, serves just to confuse her.

      • esthernewton says:

        I’m so pleased you had time for these. They’re hilarious!

      • I’m glad you like them, Esther. It wasn’t an easy word this week.

  2. Al Lane says:

    So many great entries… I think this is the most fun of any of the challenges that I take part in!

  3. Stella says:

    LOVE the Joss Whedon quote–thanks for the mentions!

  4. Jason Moody says:

    Dougal liked to gambol about, spitting a plethora of words into the air. His recent dalliance as sweet as elixir.

  5. Jason Moody says:

    The match had ended six-one
    for away fans, this wasn’t much fun
    though the game was a stonker
    the ref was a plonker
    “Bored,” said my teenage son.

  6. Jason Moody says:

    The royals they called him a king
    but the fat sod had not done a thing
    “he has yet to conquer.”
    “that’s because he’s a plonker!”
    Is what the towns people would sing.

  7. Jason Moody says:

    I couldn’t agree with the man
    this wasn’t a viable plan
    he would not concur
    that he was a plonker
    “Sod it,” I said. “Back to the van!”

  8. Jason Moody says:

    “My name’s William, I have cometh to conquer!”
    “Death be quick if you do not concur.”
    But he slipped on a skin
    and done himself in
    now he’s known as William the Plonker

  9. Jason Moody says:

    Would I be known as a moron, a plonker?
    If I said that I only eat conkers?
    I love them the most
    When I put them on toast
    This combo..oooh, it’s a stonker!

  10. Le Fragi says:

    A conker in search of some strength
    Was dipped in vinegar for such a long length
    Of time
    For the rhyme
    Far from sublime
    By this plonker who writes under the pseudonym of Strinegar Venth.

    G:)

  11. Pingback: Limerick – Plonker | A Certain Point of View

  12. Al Lane says:

    Plonker’s not that easy to get in a limerick… what plonker suggested it?? 🙂

    In England, there’s a bit of a craze
    For saying insults in different ways
    From plonker to prat to poultroon
    Then pilchard to blue-arsed baboon…
    Tell me, what’s your favourite phrase?

    https://altheauthor.wordpress.com/2016/05/30/limerick-plonker/

  13. Le Fragi says:

    Books

    Books are fab
    Books are brill
    Books are so old hat
    But we love them still.

    The smell of a book
    The turn of a page
    A book is forever
    A wonder of our age.

    And if you look
    Inside a book
    You can find
    Every single thing
    There ever was
    Or is
    Will be
    May be
    And couldn’t possibly be.

    And you ask what a book means to me?

    G:)

  14. TanGental says:

    I’m going to post this later in the week, but to make sure it’s inside the deadline, here it is.

    All in a Book

    A window on a soul

    The ramblings of a fool

    The steps towards your goal

    #

    A treatise on strange fruit

    How to iron a suit

    Cat pictures, always cute

    #

    The life cycle of the dove

    A golden treasure trove

    For you, with all my love

  15. Le Fragi says:

    Book Haiku

    I look at a book…
    Next, I look inside the book…
    Then I discover…

    G:)

  16. Le Fragi says:

    Plonker Limericks, as suggested by Al
    Who is a bit of a poet, and is two-thirds of a pal
    So, I’ll try and see
    If I can Limericky
    And include the prompt word – yes, I shall.

    G:)

  17. Pingback: All in a Book #poetry prompt #poem | TanGental

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