My Weekly Writing Challenge

I hope you’ve all had a good week. Here’s my latest challenge for you:

Option one: Write a limerick with the word TEETH in it somewhere

Option two: Write a poem on the theme of WAR

Option three: Write a twenty-word story using all of the following words: PRINCE CHARMING, GANGSTER, BALLET, APOCOLYPSE and CHUFFED

Last week option one was to write a limerick with the word KNIT featuring in it somewhere. Here are the wonderful results:

Bumba is first up with a very witty limerick:

She said write a poem with knit in it
I couldn’t decifer the wit in it
A limerick that’s clean
Has never been seen
and I ain’t nit picking bout knittin, maam.

Keith Channing is such a genius at these:

I feel such a knit

My Mum used to spend her days sitting
Just watching the telly and knitting.
She prayed for her sins
With the click-clack of pins
And that’s what she called baby-sitting!

Some folk like to waste their time flitting
While my days I pass mostly knitting.
I get a bad itch
When I see a dropped stitch,
The whole business is quite unremitting.

Three years I spent trying to knit
A solitary garment to fit
My ungrateful child
Who’s totally wild;
A thoroughly bad-tempered ****

We bought a full half-ton of yarn
To knit something the size of a barn
For my auntie, who’s large;
As big as a barge.
Too much rice with her chile con carne!

If you think that last rhyme was quite tenuous
Here’s another, but this time more strenuous.
Words you can rhyme with knit
Include quit, spit and Brit;
But they all give ideas disingenuous.

Lynne Hallett sent in this hilarious offering:

With my needles I sat down to knit,
A sweater to make me look fit,
But the arms were too long
And the body all wrong,
So I ended up looking a twit!

It’s great to welcome Graeme Sandford back with his unique wit and limericks with a difference:

Not My Knit Limerick #1

This is not my Knit Limerick at all
It is absolutely not like it in any way, shape or form
In fact
To use tact
They are quite dissimilar in that my knit Limerick rhymes properly and follows the proper Limerick format.

Knit Limerick #1 proper

To knit is a wondrous thing
When your needles go clickety-cling
And pearl one you go
To a pattern, you know
And knitting compares to you in the Spring.

My Not a Knit Limerick
aka Knot a Nit Haikool

You can knot up a nit with a trick Limerick
If he’s counting the lines just increase ’em
If he’s looking for rhymes don’t include ’em
If he’s looking for sense, make it 50 shades of dense
The sense of ‘that’ will soon elude ‘im
But most of all, make ‘im look a fool
By calling it an ‘aikool’
And tell ‘im they’re great
He should write ’em at rate
And then watch as he tries
It’s like catching mince pies
When you’re blindfolded and nobody throws ’em
So, watch him struggle wiv
Them words, the daft spiv…
And then apologise (who’s the knit, now)
As you read the splendid words wot he just writ
And how.

David Harrison entertains with two limericks:

A lady called Jessica Twitt

For her husband a sweater did knit

But it was too big

Would have fitted a pig

Her hubby said “Twitt’s about it!”

 

Having no decent everyday kit

A shirt Cecil decided to knit

It was big as a coat

Grabbed Cec round the throat

His mates all laughed “You’re a great nit!”

Option two was for a poem on the theme of sunshine.

Jason Moody wrote a beautiful poem:

You kiss my skin
and my mind drifts away
To places so far
I’ll visit one day

Early each morning
You sparkle so bright
and later each day
You bid us goodnight

You paint with your pallet
Golds, yellows and red
You gave us the rainbows
that dazzle overhead.

Your the subject of song
And often a rhyme
Some sci-fi films
Some bad, some sublime.

The ancients worshipped you
To them, you’re devine
But to me, you’re the sun
Please continue to shine.

Your final option was for a twenty-word story using all of the following words: BEAUTY, DRUNK, CRACKERS, CHEESE, LADDER and PIQUANT. I love your stories:

EDC Writing sent in a clever story:

Missed a challenge, must be crackers, maybe drunk, stuck up a ladder? Hard cheese beauty, next one tasty piquant even.

Jason Moody had fun with four:

“These camembert cheese crackers are wonderfully piquant,” said Sleeping Beauty.

She was drunk. Her tights also had a ladder.

The piquant cheese sat atop the ladder, drunk on beauty and the smell of crackers. She was a tad pretentious.

Crackers, piquant cheese and a drunk hostess. The party was a beauty. Jamie, ladder in her tights was passed out.

Climbing the ladder to eat his piquant cheese crackers, Geoff spied a drunk beauty in the park opposite the house.

Helen Jones‘ story is absolutely brilliant:

‘Let us get drunk, my piquant beauty. We have crackers and cheese-‘
‘And a ladder?’
‘That’s for later, spicy one.’

Lynne Hallett‘s is also highly amusing:

Beauty, eating her piquant cheese on crackers, awaited the… CRASH! She had told Beast never to climb a ladder drunk.

David Harrison’s made me smile:

Beauty told the beast to get off the ladder. “You’re crackers eating that piquant cheese up there. You’re horribly drunk!”

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32 Responses to My Weekly Writing Challenge

  1. I’m missing a number of teeth
    From above and a few from beneath
    It wouldn’t be great
    To wear a false plate
    But I need to, or my name’s not Keith.

    I’m leaving my igloo sub-polar
    To look for some energy solar
    My teeth will still chatter
    But that doesn’t matter
    The last line must end up with ‘molar’.

  2. EDC Writing says:

    Okay hands up I admit I haven’t a clue what apocolyse is or means? … mind you I had to double check the meaning of piquant for the last challenge!

  3. Jason Moody says:

    Prince Charming, as he was known, was rather chuffed. His gangster friend was at ballet, completely unaware of the apocalypse.

  4. Jason Moody says:

    “Ballet shoes?” said the gangster. He was less than chuffed.

    Prince Charming did not lessen his demands, despite the apocalypse.

  5. EDC Writing says:

    Apocalypse can wait no matter how you spell it , Prince Charming chuffed to see ‘Gangster Queen’ dancing at the ballet!

  6. Jason Moody says:

    Prince Charming, his gangster friend and the lady from ballet were all chuffed the new nightclub, Apocalypse had finally opened.

  7. Jason Moody says:

    Prince Charming, now a feared local gangster, was chuffed with the ballet tickets. Swan Lake Apocalypse sounded great, he thought.

  8. Rajiv says:

    Hi Esther… I missed last week… I was trying to do something on ‘sunshine’ inspired as I was, by Ken Dodd’s marvellous song, “Happiness”. When I was a kid, in England, that was one of my favourite songs. However, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

    Still, here are two:

    20 word story
    “Prince Charming fancied himself a gangster. Chuffed with the idea of creating a huge apocalypse, he went to a ballet.”

    I see from some of the comments, that the gangster theme is popular.

    And now, for some of my mongrel verse on “War”

    Raise high the God of War,
    Let’s fill the streets with blood and gore.
    We must fight with all our might,
    And we must avenge every slight.
    What’s yours is mine, you little slime;
    I’ll kill and plunder till all is mine.

    I’ll take your woman, you little shit
    We’ll kill everyone, bit by bit.
    The world will shake with the thunder,
    And drown under the weight of plunder.
    Your’e in my way, and that’s your blunder.
    We will push you six feet under.

    There is only one God, he is mine.
    I’ll smash your temples, and your shrine.
    Your festivals are just sacrilege
    We’ll bury your customs, and your language.
    We shall raise my God’s Temple,
    And raze yours, it’s just that simple.

    One day, when all is yours,
    And when you rule, from shore to shore;
    There’ll be no people, no more fauna,
    The world will be shorn of all it’s flora
    Will you then raise high, the Gods of War,
    Or quote the Last Raven, “Nevermore”?

  9. Jason Moody says:

    War.

    It rips apart nations
    And closes our hearts
    It robs us of light
    Throws us into the dark

    Like a virus it spreads
    Men with guns all infected
    While those in the middle
    Muttered, displaced, neglected

    We don’t learn our lessons
    We’re still medieval
    Lands filled with hate
    Intent on upheaval

    We mourn for those lost
    But lessons aren’t learnt
    Our leaders they preach
    But their words people spurn

    This fighting won’t cease
    While the worlds full of hate
    This virus, evolving
    Perhaps it’s too late

    Our future is uncertain
    But our voice must implore
    Put an end to the hate
    Build a world without war

  10. Sarah says:

    I know I’m late but here’s mine:

    I used to enjoy eating teeth sweets,
    They were one of my weekend treats,
    Then one fatal day,
    While chewing away,
    My filling came out in the street.

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