Usually Fridays sees my ‘Top Tip of the Week’ post, but I was contacted by writer, Donny Marchand earlier in the week. He wondered if it would be possible for me to consider publishing one of his stories. I know what it’s like trying to get your work read and your name known, so I was only too happy to oblige. So here’s the first post in a new series. If anyone else would like to appear as a guest writer on my blog, I’d be delighted to hear from you.
First here’s a little bit about Donny’s writing, in his own words:
‘I have only started writing for publication a short time ago, and been fortunate to have had some modest success, in the placement of my work.
I have had four short stories published in a magazine entitled ‘Dimdima’ whose main office is in Mumbai, India. Two articles published in a newspaper, ‘UK Column’ who are based in Plymouth,UK, and one short story in a magazine ‘Stories for Children’ out of the U.S.A.’
The Square Wheels Dynasty
In 73 B.C. Emperor Dolt became the fifth family member of the Square Wheels Dynasty in succession to reign over the realm of Mundainia. Before him, all of his forefathers’ impracticable proclamations and decrees had been permanently enshrined in the official certified journals of the Kingdom and declared Great Wisdoms of the Emperors.
The first of these erroneous icons being the declaration by Dolt the Without in 217 B.C., that all subjects must henceforth use only square wheels. Round ones, the statute stated were dangerous because of the difficulty in stopping their motion, and thus making them the major cause of accidents. In 162 B.C Dolt the Feeble decreed a ban on himself from making decisions, proclaiming this would eliminate the possibility of him making any bad ones. Throughout the decades the successive Dolts had distinguished themselves with such grand ineptitudes that the new Emperor recognized it would be difficult to make a name for himself. So, from the moment he sat upon his throne he became determined to invent the most absurd decree yet, and be known forever as the greatest of all the sovereigns.
One day the Emperor summoned all of his sages and seers to the palace on a matter of great importance. In reverence they assembled before him, and nervously waited with baited breath to hear what fate might befall them.
“My councillors,” said the Emperor, “I have gathered you here today so that you may have the honour to serve your liege by assisting him in accomplishing what he desires utmost in his heart.”
The snivelling cowards all pledged their complete allegiance and acknowledged how grateful they were for the privilege he was bestowing upon them.
“It is my intention,” continued the Emperor, “to institute a new inane and arduous regulation upon my subjects of such incredible magnitude, that my name will be immortalized for eternity, as the most renowned Emperor of all time.”
Choruses of “Hail the Emperor! Hail the Emperor!” rang out from his lackeys.
“So, I command you this very day to withdraw to your homes and consider what I have said. Then return to me in one week with your proposals on what you believe would be the most inimitable notion in absurdity ever known to mankind.”
A week later the minions presented themselves before their Emperor to apprise him of the various concepts they had dreamed up. One by one they submitted their scenarios, and each idea Emperor Dolt rejected. When they had finished, he admonished them all for being too sensible, and ordered them to leave at once as their presence was causing him much consternation.
The following day Dumbody the town fool requested and received an audience with his sovereign, in spite of the fact that the Emperor was in a very grumpy mood. Maybe this idiot can replenish some cheer in my heart again, he thought. “What is your petition?” Emperor Dolt asked sternly.”
“I would like permission to cut the corners off of my square wheels,” replied Dumbody.
“And why on earth would you want to do that?” challenged the Emperor.
“After performing each day’s daftness duties, which is very strenuous work, I head for my home feeling very tired, just like every other subject of your kingdom. But as I live high up in the hills outside of the city, the square wheels make my journey very difficult when I push my cart up the steep slope. So, if the Emperor would allow me to chop the corners off the wheels, I believe the task would become less cumbersome.”
“So you think hexagon ones would function more effectively?”
“Yes my Liege I certainly do.”
“A very silly reflection,” replied the Emperor, “but I will consider it.”
As soon as Dumbody had withdrawn, the Emperor instructed his servants to make sure he was not disturbed for the rest of the day, which he spent contemplating Dumbody’s idea.
The ensuing morning he summoned his scribe and instructed him to write down the following decree. “By order of the Emperor this declaration shall come into effect immediately: All citizens of the realm will take the necessary steps to cut off the corners of their square wheels, without exception. In his supreme sagacity the Emperor has decided this exercise will initiate a more efficient coordination in the people’s daily lives.”
When the scribe had finished writing it all down, the Emperor ordered him to take it to the captain of the guard and say the Emperor wishes for him to have this new proclamation distributed throughout the land forthwith.
Subsequently, the Emperor became overjoyed with the news that he was being hailed throughout Mundainia as the most enlightened, and judicious Emperor of all time. And to his further delight, over the years he became known as Dolt the thoughtless.