Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s another scheduled word prompt for you. Remember that I’ll be publishing all your limericks when I’m better.

Word Prompt: KNIT


Funny Motivational Quotes Work : 30 Inspiring Quotes to Live By ...
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A Trip Down Memory Lane: Grandad

I looked at the frail form lying so still on the hospital bed. Tears threatened to fall. I blinked them back, but they wouldn’t have it. I let them come. This was it – time to say my last goodbye to my dear, dear grandad.

I held his hand, savouring the life still there. I like to think he knew I was by his bedside, even though his eyes were clasped shut as if they’d never open again and there was a hollowness to his cheeks where life was seeping out. I hope he knew that I wouldn’t let him go without saying goodbye.

I told him that I loved him and that I always would. At the age of 93 he’d told me to make sure I never grew up. ‘Life is too short,’ he always said, ‘you have to enjoy it, savour every moment of it, have fun and always remember to laugh.’

I’d rung him every day for years. One of us always said something to make the other laugh. How I’d miss that daily phone call.

Though I’d have plenty of warm memories – of Grandad letting me eat the skin from the top of the custard even though it was his favourite, of being allowed to spend hours in his tool shed banging and bashing about and watching him make up the fire on a cold winter’s day.

We became even closer when my adult years came. He was so proud of me when I took a job at a local bank and that proudness was reflected in his eyes when he held his granddaughter in his arms for the first time.  

As I looked down at that hospital bed, I promised Grandad that I’d never forget him and that I’d never grow up. I promised him that I’d enjoy life, savour every moment of it, have fun and always remember to laugh. I let go of his hand and my heart felt as if it would break. I pushed the chair back and stood up, my entire being fighting against the urge to stay, to not let him go. My legs found movement and I walked towards the door.

I turned back, my heart in my mouth and my breathing raw and ragged. ‘Goodbye, Grandad, goodbye,’ I whispered.

I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to carry out those promises. I didn’t feel as if life would ever be the same again.

But time heals. The world moves on. Twelve years later and my promise has been firmly kept. My nineteen-year-old daughter rolls her eyes at me, but I keep urging her to follow Grandad’s advice. Somewhere, I’m sure he’s doing the very same.

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Can You Tell A Story In…

Here’s another scheduled word prompt for you. Remember that I’ll be publishing all your five-word stories when I’m better.

Can you tell a story in five words, using the word TOOTHPASTE in it somewhere?


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Music Memories

There I was, eleven years old, glumly trudging round the shops with Mum and Dad, when I saw it – the sign. It was in the shop window of Clarks shoe shop – ‘Free with any pair of school shoes – a Top Ten Single. Exclusive to Clarks’.

It was 1983 and I’d just started listening to pop music. I didn’t have any records of my own and when I saw that sign, I knew I was going to have my very first record. Besides, I was about to go up to secondary school so I needed new school shoes anyway.

I’d never been so excited about buying a pair of shoes in my life, especially school shoes. The massive grin on my face didn’t last very long.

“I’m very sorry,” the assistant said, “we only have this pair in your size.”

I looked down at the pair of frumpy fawn-colour shoes, my face full of horror.

“It’s alright, we can go somewhere else,” Mum said, clearly thinking she was being helpful.

“No, no, no!” I cried. It was my record. My record.

“And the record offer ends today,” the assistant whined.

My head shot up. At that age, I didn’t undertsand the word ‘commission’, all I cared about what my vanishing record.

Five minutes later, we left the shop, me clutching the bag containing the hideous shoes, an enormous smiled plastered to my face.

“You will wear the shoes, won’t you?” Mum asked.

“Yes, I love them,” I said, my fingers crossed behind my back.

When we got home, Mum sat me down and we filled out the form to claim my record. As soon as I’d seen the sign, I knew what record I’d choose. Yes, Paul Young was No.1 with ‘Wherever I lay my Hat’, but I didn’t like his hair – or his song. I’d loved ‘Moonlight Shadow’ by Mike Oldfield as soon as I first heard it, so it was no contest.

“Was that the post?” I called out. Poor Mum. I bounded down the stairs every time the letterbox went.

When the record finally arrived, I was beside myself withn excitement. Dad was in charge of the family record player, but he showed me how to play the record and play it, I did. Again and again and again. Mum and Dad liked the song at first. They soon went off it after about the tenth consecutive playing.

Now, whenever I hear the song, I can’t help but smile.

“You only got the shoes so you could have that blasted record, didn’t you?” Mum asked when I moaned about the shoes not fitting properly a couple of weeks later.

She made me wear the shoes for the next two terms. But it was worth it.

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Funny Of The Week

Don’t you just love a sign with multiple meanings…

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Laughing Along With A Limerick

I’m on the mend after having surgery, as many of you know, so I’ve scheduled your new word prompt for this week. I’d love to read your limericks while I’m recuperating and I’ll be publishing your gems from last week and this week when I’m feeling better.

Your prompt is: WINK


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A Trip Down Memory Lane: The Tooth Fairy

I’ll never forget the excitement of when I lost my first tooth. After all, I was the last one in my whole class, the whole year in fact, to lose their first tooth.

I remember my friends telling tales of being left money by the tooth fairy. “You put your tooth under the pillow and then the next morning, the tooth’s gone and there’s money in its place!” my best friend explained to me, a massive grin on her face. “When I lose another tooth, I’ll have enough money to buy the dolly I’ve seen in the toy shop.”

I stared at her, feeling my mouth grow into a pout, it being full of teeth, without even the hint of a wobbly tooth anywhere in sight.

“I’ve got two that are really wobbly. Look!” another friend said, proudly, opening her mouth as wide as possible, ferociously wobbling one, then the other in the hope they would fall out.

To me, at seven years old, it seemed tremendously unfair. I wanted my teeth to start falling out and to be able to buy a dolly from the shop, too.

“It’s a sign that your teeth are healthy,” Mum said. “You must have the best teeth in the school!”

She may well have been right, I don’t know. I have to admit, I’ve had very little problems with my teeth over the years, but at the tender age of seven, that really wasn’t a priority.

Looking back now, it’s no surprise that I had a long wait until my first tooth came out. In this photo, taken after my first birthday, I didn’t have a single tooth; I was all gums. Babies usually sprout their first tooth between four and seven months and Mum says it was well over a year before my first tooth appeared. So, naturally, this meant I held on to my milk teeth that little bit longer.

It was at school that my first tooth finally came out. And I nearly dropped it. My best friend tutted. By then, she was a ‘teeth’ and ‘tooth fairy’ expert, having lost numerous teeth. I was sure she had a whole set of dolls by now. “You need to wrap it up carefully in some tissue,” she told me, “and put it somewhere safe. You don’t want to lose it. The tooth fairy won’t come then and you won’t get any money.”

That sent me into a panic and I think I kept checking my skirt pocket every few minutes, just to check it was still there.

I managed to make it home and the tooth was carefully tucked under my pillow. Somehow, I slept that night and I’ll always remember the butterflies in my stomach on waking, wondering if she’d been. I felt the same at Christmas, when I awoke to see a stocking full of presents after Father Christmas had visited.

There may not have been any presents, but there was a shiny silver coin under the pillow. Fifty whole pence. I felt like a pirate who’d uncovered the biggest mound of treasure. I jumped out of bed, eager to tell Mum and Dad as soon as possible. And it wasn’t just about the money; it was also very much about the tooth fairy. I had images of a pretty fairy, dressed in green, with beautiful, shimmering wings all colours of the rainbow.

“I hope I see her next time,” I told Mum. “I’m going to stay awake all night so I see her.”

Of course, I didn’t ever stay awake and funnily enough, not did I ever catch a glimpse of the tooth fairy. But she played an important part of my life for a few years. Looking back at photos in my later junior school years, and the huge gaps in my teeth, I wonder what all the fuss was about and why I was in such a rush to lose those teeth. Oh, to be a child again. 

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Can You Tell A Story In…

As many of you know, I’m recovering from surgery at the moment and so I scheduled your new word prompt for this week. I’d love to read your stories while I’m recuperating and I’ll be publishing your wonderful stories from last week and this week when I’m feeling better.

Can you tell a story in five words, using the word HEART in it somewhere?


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Music Memories

In 1986, my favourite TV programme was Top of the Pops. Every Thursday night, I could be found glued to the TV waiting to hear if my favourite song had made it to the prestigious No.1 slot. Mum and Dad used to moan and groan about the ‘hideous racket’ coming from the TV, but they always let me watch it.

I was fourteen years old that year and had recently got into athletics. A friend suggested we join the local athletics club so we did. But there was one snag – the main training day was a Thursday evening – at the same time as Tops of The Pops. Now, this was 1986, before most households had a video recorder. So I didn’t have the option of recording the show.

It was May and Rock Me Amadeus by Falco was No.1. I loved the song. It was so different, so powerful and highly catchy. I had to know if it was still No.1. And I knew just the thing to do.

I may not have had a video recorder, but I did have a tape recorder. It wasn’t a particularly good one, but it served the purpose it had been bought for – for my friend and I to sing into (or screech would probably be a fairer word for it).

So I told Dad what I planned to do. He’d need to have the TV on so it picked up the sound. He muttered that it was ‘alright, I suppose’. The tape recorder wasn’t very good at picking things up, so I positioned it as close to the TV as possible.  

Off I went to athletics club, and back I came eager to listen to Tops of the Pops. When I pressed ‘play’, you could definitely tell it was Top of the Pops. But I clearly hadn’t accounted for all the background noises, which were somehow much louder than the TV – Dad rattling the paper the whole way through, coughing, belching and other such bodily noises, Mum starting a conversation about the mess Dad made when he ate his biscuits in the lounge and of course, I’d forgotten that we have the loudest clock in the world and so the TV programme also had to compete with its incessant ticking.  

So, after all that, was Amadeus still No.1? No, it wasn’t. Usurped by Spitting Image and The Chicken Song. I wasn’t impressed.

Did the recording of Top of The Pops last? No. Neither did the athletics.   


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Funny Of The Week

It’s good to get your facts right – or not!

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