estherchiltonblog

After weeks and weeks of a cough
It was making her life difficult enough
To the doctors she went
And to hospital was sent
That cough really did pi** her off!

Kim Smyth:

There once was a man with a cough
He coughed his fool head right off
His throat got rough
Made his life tough
Told his doc he’d had quite enough!

Trent’s World:

Jonathan coughed without a care
Just a year ago he wouldn’t dare
With the panic done
He thought it fun
To spread germs everywhere.

–

Little Billy wasn’t bright
The doctor said “Cough to the right”
When left Billy spit
It was Doc’s face that he hit
Making the doctor squeeze too tight…

Keith Channing:

Come gather, I’ll tell you a tale
Of raucous nights swigging fine ale.
Unless you’ve a cough
Good liquor you’ll quaff.
Here’s to your health – hearty and hale.

TanGental:

‘You really sound terribly roff,
With that persistent, rattly coff.
I’ve made you a coughin
To carry you ough in,
When it all becomes more than enoff.’

Lance Greenfield:

There was a gun-fighter out West
Who, at duelling was easy the best.
That Wild Bill Hiccough
Would too quickly sup.
Hence the spasms he had in his chest.

Val Fish:

Travelling at fifty miles per hour
A cough’s certainly got some power
Up to six feet it flies
So be Covid wise
And avoid getting caught in a shower.

And Ruth Scribbles has used the last four prompts (FIVE, TYPE, CROSS, and COUGH):

The five of us were just the type
To talk and create lots of hype
We crossed to the bluff
Then started to cough
The smell in the wind was real ripe.

***

Posted in Challenges, Uncategorized | Tagged limericks, word prompts, words, writing | 23 Comments

Can You Tell A Story…

Posted on March 23, 2023 by Esther Chilton

It’s almost Friday, and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

MIRROR

So can you tell a story in five words using the word MIRROR in it somewhere?

Your word last week was OPERATION. Here are your OPERATION stories:

Kim Smyth:

I need a knee operation.

Operations are expensive to have.

The operation left him blind.

Emma:

‘Operation Write a Best-seller’. Failed…

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

The operation was not successful.

Operation Blop, making paint messy!

Train buff, Operation Station Master.

Operation of tools. Danger, warning.

The ‘Cat’ – in operation scandal!

Shopping is a real ‘operation’!

My writing operation? A success!

EDC Writing:

Recurrent operation, broken heart restitched.

Ruth Scribbles:

Ukraine’s military operation was successful.

I will have knee operations.

Trent’s World:

Operation ‘Weekend Party’ has begun!

Pencil operation failure – i.e., scribble.

The spaceship’s operation is… difficult…

Val Fish:

Planning daughter’s wedding, military operation.

Awake during operation; worst nightmare.

Operation waiting lists agonisingly long.

Alz Gusta Presents:

Operation after operation, getting old.

Lance Greenfield:

Essential operations are often cancelled.

Hoping that your operation goes well.

Successful operation eliminates future pain.

Operation Burberry covered firefighters’ strike.

‘Special Operations’: Russian for ‘War’.

–

And here’s Chris Farley‘s five-word stories for the previous promt of FEET:

Five feet high and rising (thanks Johnny Cash).

Thirty thousand feet and falling.

Anointed feet on a cross.

Our feet, tied, three legged.

***

Posted in Challenges, Uncategorized | Tagged word prompts, words, writing, writing challenge | 21 Comments

Funny Of The Week

Posted on March 21, 2023 by Esther Chilton

I’m intrigued to know how a kitten acts suspiciously… Perhaps it was wearing a balaclava, or carrying a weapon…

Posted in humor, humour | 19 Comments

Laughing Along With A Limerick

Posted on March 20, 2023 by Esther Chilton

Happy Monday! I hope you all had a good weekend.

Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

COUGH

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word CROSS in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Christine Mallband-Brown:

There was a fine lady upon a white horse.
Who rode like the wind to Banbury Cross
She’d heard a Knight was going that way
So excited was she to see him that day
But he never arrived and her heart felt the loss!

Kim Smyth:

I bought a cross to hang on the wall
My husband secured it so it would not fall
The cross contains ashes
Memorializing Dad’s passing
Now it stays permanently in my hall.

Trent’s World:

Some awful awful Eurovision singers
Had started with crossed fingers
Still, they confess
The show was a mess
And their screeches still lingers.

Keith Channing:

Can you believe it? My boss
Repeatedly comes to work cross.
One day, after lunch,
She said, “I’ve a hunch
Some joker has stolen my floss!”

TanGental:

I’ve been described as quasi posh
Which has been known to make me cross.
It’s time to put this thing to bed
And reinstate my lost street cred.
‘I’ve lost the title and sold the hoss.’

–

When I was accused of penning dross
I have to admit, it made me cross.
I might have eased my consternation
Had I asked for an explanation.
But, being frank, I couldn’t give a toss.

Val Fish:

I can’t help but get cross with my Fred
His latest habit has made me see red.
I shouldn’t moan
Each to their own
But must he really do it in bed?

Lance Greenfield:

Suella’s a girl who thinks that she’s tough.
But, really, she’s very like Billy Goat Gruff.
“Thou shalt not cross!
Even if ALL you have lost.”
Soon, the voters will tell her, “Enough is enough!”

***

Posted in Challenges, Uncategorized | Tagged limericks, word prompts, words, writing | 23 Comments

Can You Tell A Story In…

Posted on March 16, 2023 by Esther Chilton

It’s almost Friday, and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

OPERATION

So can you tell a story in five words using the word OPERATION in it somewhere?

Your word last week was SHAVE. Here are your SHAVE stories:

Kim Smyth:

I got nothing saved; shaved.

My hubby sure needs shaving!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

No shave, just a haircut.

It was a close shave!

He shaved seconds off record.

My legs only half shaved.

Wood shavings, now light fire!

Parmizan shaved onto the pasta.

EDC Writing:

Cut above, close shave below.

Ritu:

Date night tonight – S(h)ave me!

Love feeling freshly shaven skin.

A horn sounded – Close shave!

Ruth Scribbles:

Shave that nasty chin hair!!

Trent’s World:

Shaved a minute off, but…

Shave and a haircut: two-cents.

Lance Greenfield:

Neil “Razor” Ruddock never shaves.

Good lather makes smooth shave.

Shave, wax or painlessly natural?

Classical music to shave by.

Shaved ice with sweet liqueur.

Pasta topped with shaved Parmesan.

Alz Gusta Presents:

Shaved his mind for science.

***

Posted in Challenges, Uncategorized | Tagged limericks, word prompts, words, writing | 29 Comments

Funny Of The Week

Posted on March 14, 2023 by Esther Chilton

This week’s funny was sent in by Lance Greenfield. Many thanks, Lance 😂

Posted in humor, humour | Tagged funny packaging, funny signs, humor, humour | 10 Comments

Laughing Along With A Limerick

Posted on March 13, 2023 by Esther Chilton

Happy Monday! I hope you all had a good weekend.

Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

CROSS

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word TYPE in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Christine Mallband-Brown:

Rosamund Grundy was an odd sort
She didn’t believe her school report
She decided she was smart
But despite a good start
Her type writing skills were bad I thought.

Kim Smyth:

I was young when I learned how to type
Now I even know about Skype
The stories we tell
On paper or bell
Are really worth all of the hype.

Trent’s World:

Mary had an awful fate
For her there was no proper mate
Even when hot
Her type he’s not
And compatibility is never great.

–

Bartelby thinks typing is quaint
The sight of a keyboard makes him faint
What seems crazy
Is because he’s lazy
At work he’s no saint.

(Bartelby the Scrivener stopped his proofreading and copying with the phrase “I would prefer not to.”)

Val Fish:

I soon realised he wasn’t my type
His Tinder profile was just full of hype
His unwelcome advance
Gave me the chance
To tell him what to stick up his pipe.

TanGental:

When a hundred monkeys began to type
They were well aware of the ensuing hype
That followed them writing from start to finish
A version of Hamlet in pidgin English
Which they performed in spats over a dodgy Skype.

–

Norman Toole was of a certain type
Whose patter was dull and mostly tripe.
He went online to find a mate,
Never landed even one first date
As discerning women would never swipe
(Either left or right).

Lance Greenfield:

Bony Tony loved eating tripe,
Served with onions was what he liked.
But he understood
That, when it came to food,
Not everyone was a tripe-lover type.

***