Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

CHEAP

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word DARE in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Channing:

My wife said to me, “Don’t you dare
Go out without combing your hair.
You look such a sight
You’ll give dogs a fright.”
Don’t know why, she must know I don’t care!

Ruth Scribbles:

There once was a man who would dare
To walk in my yard and not care
I turned on my hose
I watered his nose
He now walks around whilst he’s bare.

Trent’s World:

My humour is too often sick
So I dare not write a limerick!
It might be smut
Or off its nut
Or pull some other fanciful trick.

–

Bob was one wild guy
Who’d dare anything when he’s high
Eat non-food
Or shop while nude
There is nothing he wouldn’t try.

Kim Smyth:

My children have been known to dare me
To try some illegal candy
I tell them I’d try
But I’m too scared to die
Besides, CBD works quite dandily!

Annette Rochelle Aben:

Without a care
She cut her hair
It was oh, so long
But now it’s gone
No one thought she’d take the dare!

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Don’t you dare go into space!
It really is a hostile place
With Gamma rays.
Vacuum makes stays
Hard to breathe in a star base!

Val Fish:

Whilst drunk, I agreed to a dare
By the fountains, Trafalgar Square
Was nabbed by a copper
For conduct improper
The details I’d rather not share!

Lance Greenfield:

Bony Tony made the crowd shriek,
When he cast off his clothes and ran off to streak.
No need to be scared.
It was only a dare,
To show off his incredible cheek.

***

Short Story Writing Course

As many of you know, I’m a tutor for The Writers Bureau, which I thoroughly enjoy. Recently, we’ve joined the virtual teaching world and have been tutoring some Zoom courses. They’ve been great fun and have ranged from Making Money From Your Non-Fiction, to Flash Fiction, to Rediscovering Your Writing Mojo. I’ve loved teaching in this way and connecting with other writers.

I’m running an eight-week Short Story Focus course, starting next Tuesday – 24th May. We’ll cover how to open your story with an enticing hook, creating compelling characters, mastering the art of ‘show, not tell’ and much more. The course includes feedback on one of your stories.

There are still a few places available if you’re interested. You’ll find more details here. I’d love to see you there!

Can You Tell A Story In…

It’s Thursday once again and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

FEAR

So can you tell a story in five words using the word FEAR in it somewhere?

Your word last week was TRAIN. Here are your TRAIN stories:

Keith Channing:

Train hard to catch train
Running for train is training
Avoid stepping on bride’s train
Inner strength is trained mind
Never train guns on people.

Sanjuna:

Train mind to control emotions.

Ruth Scribbles:

Train the children with manners.
Really, train them by example.
And be sure training’s fun.
I was a trainer once.
Never punish while training them.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Chatanooga choochoo, my favourite train.

How to train your pony.

Train long and hard, athletes.

The train is running early!

Train, plane, boat, travel methods…

Astronomy – train your telescope there…

Kim Smith:

Never been far by train.

Trains bring towns down sometimes.

Travel by train offers opportunities.

Annette Rochelle Aben:

Train tracks are tied up.

Terveen Gill:

He waited. The train didn’t.

Trent’s World:

Training to drive a train.

Daddy hit by a train.

EDC Writing:

She caught train he missed.

And something different from Richmond Road:

I hear the train a-coming
Distant running down the line
Whistling and humming, rhythmic drumming
Keeping pace and keeping time
I hear the strings a-strumming
Hear the bell? It’s mine
For me, the last homecoming
Going down. I’m going fine.

Val Fish:

Squashed on train like sardines.

Passed out on packed train.

Railway children’s petticoats stop train.

Lance Greenfield:

Plane to Spain to train.

Training in Madrid was fun.

Blended training engages and excites.

Proper training relieves operational strains.

Steam trains revive childhood memories.

***

Funny Of The Week

It’s always good to manage people’s expectations…

Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

DARE

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word SNORE in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Channing:

Sometimes, I’ll admit it, I snore.
Not loudly, for that I’d abhor.
On Friday, my wife
Rubbed my nose with a knife
Enough just to make it quite sore!

Ruth Scribbles:

There once was a girl on a bus
To grandma’s she told Mr Gus
When she took a short nap
Mr gus he did snap
“Your snore almost drove me to cuss.”

Trent’s World:

There was a weird man, it is said
Who snored loud enough to wake the dead
They broke the turf
To walk the Earth
Each night when he went to bed.

Kim Smyth:

My husband’s snore is so deep
How can anyone sleep?
I’ve tried every device
And some aren’t so nice
Just once I’d like not a peep!

Ritu:

There was a man named Salvator
And he was known for his incredible snore
The neighbours he’d wake
The house, it would shake
Well, he just caused a terrible uproar!

Ruth Blogs Here:

When my husband snores loud and snores long
Grating stop-and-start staccato song
Neither quiet nor gentle
It drives me quite mental
So I give him a shove – am I wrong?

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

It’s really a great big bore
Trying to sleep through a snore
I wish he’d be quiet
For once in the night
Or else he’ll be out through the door!

TanGental:

Dessie Dull from Little Snoring,
Was known for being deadly boring.
It became too much for Fanny Fun
Who blew him away with her father’s gun
And he’s buried beneath the flooring.

Linking People 2013:

Comedian dictator snores in bunker safe,
Countrymen losing home and life unsafe,
Uncle Sam and other NATO countries betray,
Guised as aid but landlocked will repay,
By toiling soil for wheat, sunflower ensafe!

***

Can You Tell A Story In…

It’s Thursday once again and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

TRAIN

So can you tell a story in five words using the word TRAIN in it somewhere?

Your word last week was POETRY. Here are your POETIC stories:

Keith Channing:

Non-rhyming poetry is pretty prose.

Poetry needs metre and rhyme.

Ruth Scribbles:

I write short poetry verses.

Vague poetry is not enjoyable.

I don’t enjoy snobby poetry.

I prefer to write poetry.

I don’t enjoy reading poetry.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Poetry can rhyme well sometime.

Sounds of poetry are interesting.

Words create poetic poetry poems.

The poetry of steam trains?

Wordsworth and Coleridge – romantic poetry?

One man’s poetry, another’s doggerel.

Kim Smith:

I took a poetry class.

I like poetry that rhymes.

Songs and poetry are similar.

Terveen Gill:

His debauchery crushed their poetry.

Trent’s World:

No poetry for me today.

I love poetry in action.

Mimi Horne:

Poetry is music to me.

Val Fish:

Poetry doesn’t have to rhyme…

Poetry; it’s all Greek to me…

Limericks; poetry at it’s lewdest?

Lance Greenfield:

Perfect poetry prefers perfect punctuation.

Free form poetry is creative fun.

Classically structured poetry requires discipline.

Lance dancing: poetry in motion!

My poetry is usually emotional.

Limericks make poetry such fun.

Boris said, “No office poetry!”

EDC Writing:

Poetry… rhythm of found souls.

Equinoxio21:

Five
Words
Is
Too
Much.

***

Funny Of The Week

It’s just what everyone wants…

Laughing Along With A Limerick

Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:

SNORE

Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word SNEEZE in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:

Keith Channing:

Now here is a jolly good wheeze:
Try clearing a room with a sneeze.
Make it sound like a fart,
And here’s the best part:
You can do it as much as you please!

Ruth Scribbles:

He opened the door and then sneezed
His snot spread about, yuk oh pleeze
He wiped it all up
Then in came the pup
He started to sniff, I said freeze.

Trent’s World:

To the duchess’ cottage in the trees
That’s enough pepper, if you please
A baby quite big
Turns into a pig
Starts grunting where there was a sneeze!

Kim Smyth:

My hubby has multiple sneezes
But his allergies cause him no wheezes
He uses many tissues
To deal with his issues
But mostly he wishes for freezes!

Ritu:

There was a young girl from Belize
Who had a strange reaction to cheese
Just the barest of whiffs
Or the slightest of sniffs
Would result in a rather loud sneeze!

Richmond Road:

He covered his mouth, thus to sneeze
Then a sniff, and a cough, and a wheeze
I was able to issue
A barely used tissue
I said, “Blow into here, if you please.”

–

I was chatting one day with the Queen
When the moment turned vaguely obscene
She seemed less than pleased
From the moment I sneezed
On her dress. Something slimy and green.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

The cat sneezed hard at me
I wondered what had he
Eaten tonight
Taken a bite
Then from his nose…Flew a bee!

The Hidden Edge:

The cheerleader was feeling blue,
What was wrong, she hadn’t a clue,
No one was best pleased
As she fiercely sneezed –
Then, crawled back to bed with the flu!

***

Can You Tell A Story In…

It’s Thursday once again and that means five-word story time. Your new word this week is:

POETRY

So can you tell a story in five words using the word POETRY in it somewhere?

Your word last week was SACRIFICE. Here are your SACRIFICED stories:

Keith Channing:

Electoral Commission compromised — democracy sacrificed.

Sacrifice? Don’t get me started!

What more can we sacrifice?

Ruth Scribbles:

Sacrifice for children is common.

Do not sacrifice your integrity.

Sacrifice for praise is futile.

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Sacrifice a tomato to Burgershop.

My sacrifice, stop eating icecream.

He said sacrifice your money!

The town mayor sacrificed dolls?!

I had nothing to sacrifice…

Kim Smith:

Noble is a willing sacrifice.

Trent’s World:

He sacrificed love for power.

5 word limit sacrifices detail…

Val Fish:

The Crucifixion; Jesus’s ultimate sacrifice.

Lance Greenfield:

Sacrificed, despite loyalty. That hurts!

Snake sacrifices shed snakeskin suit.

True success requires serious sacrifice.

Sacrifice made Elton John rich.

Sacrifice your sack of rice.

Linking People 2003:

Uncle Sam, sacrificing citizens euphorically.

Hiding in bunker, sacrificing citizens.

NATO sacrificing arms for comedian.

Toddler democratically elected, sacrificing citizens.

***

Photo credit: Pinterest

Funny Of The Week

Wonder how this student would describe bad vibrations…