It’s Monday and limerick time. I’m giving you three prompts this week. Unfortunately, I’ve got to have some more shoulder surgery, so I’ll be out of action for a while. But I’d love to see your limericks so please send them in to give me a smile. I’ll publish them all when I’m back blogging again.
Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was TRAIN.
Train for the race, I was told;
Running, you’ll never grow old.
And so I agreed;
I did my best speed.
Now I’m just knackered and cold!
Now, that really is a pain
Can’t believe I did it again
Just a tad too much booze
So I had a snooze
And I’ve gone and missed my train!
As an actor, I do like to train
Caped crusaders are often my game
I auditioned as Robin
But ended up sobbin’
Because I was cast as Bruce Wayne.
There once was a man in the rain
Who had waited so long for a train
That his clothes were all soaked
And a passenger joked
That he looked like he lived down a drain.
It is a real bugbear of mine
That I can’t find a train that’s on time
So I stand here and wait
Know full well I’ll be late
It’s always those leaves on the line.
There’s one thing I’d like to explain,
I get kind of frisky on trains
I’m a great womanizer
Yes, I am the train driver
But I’ve yet to find someone complain!
When you are riding a train
It’s best not to take your Cocaine
The train might be busy
And you’re feeling dizzy
The question is – are you insane?
More people should ride the train
It would keep them out of the rain
The roads less clogged
Their minds less fogged
Once working they’d use more of their brain!
An 0-6-0 train in steam
Makes my hubby smile and beam
The Flying Scotsman?
He is a real Fan!
Driving it, that is his dream!
Beth married the conductor of a train
So her wedding dress had a forty-foot train
It wasn’t much fun
The thing weighed a ton
To wear it she had to exercise and train.
Bob trained real hard in vault
But the virus put the games to a halt
Go home and pout
For Tokyo is out
Not getting the gold isn’t your fault.
Let the train
Take the strain
No more car
For those trips afar
Enjoy your day and return home again.
The Hidden Edge:
The amazing red head, Mary Jane,
Knew not that Spiderman stopped the train,
Her trust was slighted;
Their love was blighted,
Swallowing pride is not what she’d deign!
My owner thinks I’m just really dumb.
But truly, I’m having great fun.
On “Stay!” I run,
And I leave on “Come!”
Training treats are filling my tum!
We boarded a train going to Delhi.
The driver was giving it welly.
We’d not been going long
Before we were singing this song:
We’re going too fast! Our legs are shaking like jelly!
We all went out for a dinner in Staines.
I chose chicken Madras for my main.
The weather was foggy.
And my rice was all soggy,
So I sent the dish back to re-strain.
Education is to train the mind to think,
Station master minds the train without a blink!
School master trains the mind,
Former minds, the latter trains and is kind!
Freight train or camel train, train the camera to click!
I wish I were riding a train
Instead I got caught in the rain
I ran really fast
Went down in a splat
The concussion they say hurt my brain.
I once had to rack my brain,
Whilst travelling home on the train.
I thought and I thought,
‘Till my nerves became fraught.
No ideas, it was all in vain.
I got caught with a fine on the train
Whilst drunk, pulled the emergency chain
There’s no excuse
For improper use
Note to self; next time engage brain!